Manners, a matter of perception

I was sitting in a doctor's office today musing over how different customs might be from one culture to another.....as in, what one considers outrageous in one might be considered acceptable in another. I remember seeing an old movie, I can't remember which, where there was belching at the dinner table and in the particular culture it was supposed to be a sign showing appreciation for a good meal. In my culture, however, belching in public is never acceptable...or it didn't used to be. At one time, it was considered rude along with expelling air from any other bodily portal.

What made me start pondering this was that as I was sitting there for a nine o'clock appointment which turned into a several hour lingering ordeal (common for US doctor's offices) I kept hearing this noise which I couldn't block out. Now, being a mother, I learned long ago to block all things out or go ballistic on my kids so I don't know why I found this noise particularly irritating. I finally found the source for the noise which was a child of about 10 years old chewing bubble gum with her mouth open quite noisily. Seeing that she was with both her parents as well as her smaller sister, I thought ....any moment now her mother will admonish her for chewing with her mouth open. It didn't happen but soon I heard the noise double........the younger sibling had acquired her own piece of chewing gum with the same results. hmmm Okay, so they're kids, what the heck. Tune it out. Not happening. Several minutes later I heard a chorus of smacking noises and look to see that the parents had joined the children in what was evidently an enjoyable family event and it became obvious to me rather quickly that ...as with all things....the children had gotten their methods from the parents. The mom soon tired of hers, however, and did place it in a piece of paper and then into her purse. I wondered if she planned to retrieve it later or hope that it would become plyable and scattered during its sojourn in her purse so that it would be a good excuse for a new purse. hmmm



I had to laugh for I kept thinking of growing up with my siblings who'd bop me on the top of the head if I smacked while eating. (this causes you to bite your tongue, you know? ) You always chewed with your mouth closed......unless of course you were making faces at each other and playing "see food" wars. Of course, these were the same siblings who made me sleep like a statue between them cause they wanted NO movement. I was so glad when they got married. Anyway, it also brought to mind an event only a few years ago when I attended an aunt's funeral and while there my other aunt came up to my sister and myself, held out a tissue, and ordered us to spit out our gum........which she deposited into the trashcan. Here we were quite past the age of consent and being chastised like wee children for chewing gum in public. We, of course, obeyed her but we still laugh about it.