The Lure of the Wedding Ring

What is it about a wedding ring which creates a difference in how we approach one another?

I was talking to a friend who was married for years who was the constant attention of females. It was rumored that he did step outside his vows on occasion and, though we often kidded about it, I never asked him outright if the rumors were true. Maybe I didn’t want to know that intimately about him as if I’d somehow become more entangled in his own drama. He was divorced not terribly long ago and then changed jobs and I now seldom see him. During our conversation, I asked him if being married once was enough for him or if he just hadn’t found the right person to make that leap again and he admitted that the right person just hadn’t come along.

Because of his past reputation and the fact that he was still single, I asked him if being married and being single was that vastly different in being approached by women and he readily agreed that it was. While married, women were constantly flaunting themselves at him, tempting him, and that has changed. It’s difficult re-entering the dating scene after years of being comfortably paired with someone. The shift in mentality is a strain in itself but then you’re forced to examine yourself physically, financially, and emotionally to see if you’re even an attractive enough package to lure the single women of the world. Too often, you become just another stool warmer hoping someone will make and hold eye contact with you.

So what is it about the ring on a man’s finger which attracts the attention of women? I’ve considered the possibilities but am sure I’m missing some.

1. They don’t threaten you. You’re free to flirt and practice your wiles and walk away. They become your practice arena to perfect your ability to attract the eventual one you’ll keep.
2. They pose a challenge. You relieve the boredom of life by seeing if you can make a married man look your way. For those truly into a challenge, you go after the ones who are sincerely attached to their spouses for they pose the biggest challenge of all.
3. They belong to someone. You see the person as worthy of having because someone else already chose him and kept him. Maybe if you can attract him away, you’ll be the lucky one instead.
4. They offer no strings attached. You, whether married or single yourself, have no interest in a long-term relationship and see these individuals as the perfect hunting ground, especially when they’re of the same frame of mind.
5. They’re available. You have no ulterior motive but, since you’re in close proximity to one another and find things in common, things just happen as they will.
6. They are outnumbered by females. The pool of available men is small compared to the number of available women. Factor in the undesirables and that number becomes even smaller. Are you fishing from the married pool because you have better options there?

Needless to say, this question could be posed for the ring on a woman’s finger as well and the experiences and insights I’m getting from men this morning are not so different from a woman’s for the most part.

I personally went from being married and flirted with to single and hit upon. I put a wedding ring on my finger to hopefully offset some of the unwanted attention I was getting because I hadn’t placed myself on the meat market and it had no real effect; the faces just changed. From my own experience, however, I got the impression (and it’s strictly my own) that the majority of men doing the flirting would have been just as content if the women they had at home posed the same challenge, smiled the same mysterious smile, and generated the fantasy which was distracting them.

Perfect Match

There is a direct correlation between human motivation and human emotion. Even the psychopath operates on a need to fulfill some emotional drive, whether overt or deeply rooted in his psyche. Every decision we make in life is deeply influenced by emotion whether it be boredom, joy, anger, hunger, pain, fatigue, etc. The fact that we cover ourselves in the cold isn’t a response to the physical discomfort but instead due to what we feel emotionally regarding that discomfort. Most people dislike physical pain, some like it or get a rush from it.

We recognize our own motivations most of the time although there are things we do each day which we never give a moment’s thought to. Our likes and dislikes are so much a part of us that they influence our movements from the second we awaken at a preferred time until we fall asleep again in a preferred position. What we buy, where we work, and who we befriend are all dependent on emotional gratification.

Knowing ourselves, we can predict our own behavior. We’d feel certain of what our actions might be in any given situation and yet find, when faced with certain situations, that we act out of what we’d consider our normal character. Whether there are underlying emotions left over from past experiences which we’ve relegated to the recesses of our minds or emotions newly developed never having been felt before, through these silent influences we find that we aren’t always as predictable as we thought. Many a hero has been made of painfully timid individuals when forced to make a choice and rising to the challenge. Many a coward has been proven in similar situations. Even a battered spouse who’s endured for decades may one day strike back. We aren’t always as predictable as we’d like to think so we should never overestimate or underestimate ourselves. We aren’t defined by any moment but the one in which we exist.

In an effort to distract my mind and hopefully find a pathway to sleep, I was thinking of a book I finished the other day and it brought this subject to mind. Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult is about just such a situation. Having prosecuted countless child abusers through the years, a law-abiding assistant DA reacts out of character when it is her own child who suffers similar abuse. What would you do for those you love? To what extent would you go? Do you know?

ASSumptions made

In the discordance of the work day, on a day when no-one should even have to entertain the thought of doing more than relaxing, I get the opportunity to walk into the sunshine for a moment and linger as long as the responsibilities will allow. Overhead, a small bird perches on a wire singing what I’m sure is a familiar tune to him though it’s new and enticing to me. As I raise my face to gaze at him, the bright sunlight becomes a red haze through eyelids which automatically close to filter and protect.


The warm air is a welcome relief from the artificially cooled interior of the office but it isn’t long before I escape into the shade of the building overhang. Now able to see without squinting, my gaze returns upward and I spend the rest of my stolen moments admiring the clouds against the sun-bleached blue of the sky. I don’t know if my cloud gazing is a lingering emotional connection with flying and what it represents, but I’ve found myself captivated by them since seeing their endless expanse from above for the first time.

As I look into the sky beyond the clouds, I think of how very far away that atmospheric ceiling is and how many people and places it covers beside me and my own singular spot on the earth. This thought recalls an article I saw in the Wall Street Journal, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122211987961064719.html?mod=googlenews_wsj , regarding geographic personalities and how a certain survey has inconclusively labeled the American states’ inhabitants as being of one personality type or another. I say ‘inconclusively’ for the survey failed to determine whether we are products of our areas or if we’re similar because like seeks like and we migrate accordingly. New York and Mississippi were found to be neurotic states because of the high anxiety levels though for different reasons. I find it ironic that these two particular states were cited as having anything in common until I look at the reasons behind the anxiety levels. Though extremely laid back in comparison to New York, Mississippians are forced to deal with being on the low end of income levels and poverty creates an underlying stress level regardless of how fun-loving we are.

ASSumptions are made by each of us regarding the people in different regions or nations based on what we’ve heard and read. Sometimes it’s a favorable impression, sometimes not. The problem comes in believing everything you “think” you know and avoiding a place instead of spending time there and finding out for yourself. New Yorkers have the reputation of being the most unwelcoming, brusque people there are. However, I’ve found that they’re as accommodating, if not more so, than others I’m acquainted with. The most obvious difference I’ve noticed is the pace at which they move through life going about their daily tasks. For someone from a more relaxed pace, it can be extremely invigorating or quite daunting. The fact that New York is the jumping off place to the rest of the world also lends its inhabitants a different life perspective and expectation for themselves, I think.

Still on that ASS-U-ME train of thought, a brief text conversation that I had with a friend comes to mind. While referring to our years in college, he made a statement which surprised me because of his impression of me at that time. I suppose we go through life never knowing what people truly think and feel about us a lot of the time. We assume in many areas of life, don’t we? We have an impression of ourselves that we think others share and it’s surprising and even sometimes disturbing to find their image of us deviates from our own. How advantageous would it be if people were totally open with one another? You’d know if there were traits you exhibited which were detrimental or beneficial to future first impressions, relationships, and even job interviews? I guess it’s a bit much to expect anyone to be that open for, if they’re that open with you, then it means they’ve left themselves wide open to you and most people aren’t that secure.

Ah well, duties call. Caio for now.

I haven't verified but thought I'd pass it along in case

THIS IS TRUE & VERIFIED ON SNOPES.COM


Recently someone had to have their 5-year old German Shepherd dog put down due to liver failure.. The dog was completely healthy until a few weeks ago, so they had a necropsy done to see what the cause was. The liver levels were unbelievable as if the dog had ingested poison of some kind. The dog is kept inside and, when he's outside, someone's with him, so the idea of him getting into something unknown was hard to believe.

My neighbor started going through all the items in the house. When he got tothe Swiffer Wetjet, he noticed, in very tiny print, a warning which stated "may be harmful to small children and animals." He called the company to ask what the contents of the cleaning agent are and was astounded to find out that antifreeze is one of the ingredients (actually, he was told it's a compound which is one molecule away from antifreeze). Therefore, just by the dog walking on the floor cleaned with the solution then licking its own paws, it ingested enough of the solution to destroy its liver.

Soon after his dog's death, his housekeeper's two cats also died of liver failure. They both used the Swiffer Wetjet for quick cleanups on their floors. Necropsies weren't done on the cats... so they couldn't file a lawsuit...but he asked that we spread the word to as many people as possible so they don't lose their animals.

This is equally harmful to babies and small children that play on the floor a lot and put their fingers in their mouths.

Hold on, folks, it looks to be a bumpy ride ahead!

Doesn’t it totally suck that the financial institutions which encouraged us to bury ourselves in debt and rely on them now turn their backs on us when we still need that line of credit? It’s not as if we did anything to cause them to lower the credit limits on our cards or stop the line of credit with which we buy the supplies to operate our businesses and supply public demand which in turn requires us to buy more supplies to satisfy further demand.

They’ve enticed us with easy money and a belief that the financial support was secure. That’s like telling a young girl…”Marry me, honey. You stay at home and I’ll support your every need. Don’t worry that you’re dependent on me. I’ll always be here.”…this, of course being said before thirty years together and the introduction of a new love interest. Uh, well, the analogy may suck but you get my gist? Perhaps both enterprises are a bit hopeful in the first place. Co-dependence is a hopeful endeavor from the outset and if there’s an unequal balance of give and take from both sides or mismanagement from the one in control, one side will always come out ahead with the other wishing things were different.

The US consumer has enjoyed…too well…a decade or more of false prosperity. We’ve foolishly and optimistically bought, spent, leveraged on someone else’s money and now we’re floundering because that money is no longer available to us. Where once we borrowed on tomorrow, we’re now going to be forced to live with what we have today. Our incomes, which are meager compared to our wants and desires, will have to stretch to cover our daily necessities as well as those debts created which we now become master jugglers to manage. Dave Ramsey, save us from ourselves! Watch our adult strides become your baby steps to financial security.

Wall Street and Main Street, as they’re calling the general populace, are intertwined as are the world markets and Wall Street. Banks fail, lending institutions tighten their practices, schools lose funding, mortgages default, small businesses falter, etc., etc., etc. Not only are we on Main St. America watching to see what happens, other nations do as well. Not only has the US consumer enjoyed a prosperous period, the nation itself enjoyed a major standing in the world’s market in part by being the leading importer from these nations. Emerging nations who once were dependent on the US are now finding an equal market between themselves. What happens to a nation which has corrupted the idealistic view the world once had of it and further diminishes its credibility and control with a failing financial market? Let’s hope our next leader is capable of reestablishing some measure of standing for our nation within the international community.

If we mismanage our household budget, should someone step in to bail us out? If we run our businesses with poor management, should someone else be responsible for correcting our mistakes and supporting us while we get back on track? Do we think the bailout will bring us back to where we were prior to the housing crisis, bank failures, and mismanagement of funds? It won’t. Will there be a monitoring system set in place in Washington and, if so, who will monitor those who are doing the monitoring?

Perhaps one good thing which will come of this crisis is the financial responsibility individuals will be forced to learn. There seems to be a “the world owes me something” mentality and what life comes down to for all of us is reaping what we sow. By our own efforts, we shall fail or succeed and the world doesn’t owe any of us one blasted thing. We’ve had it relatively easy. There are definitely unfortunate individuals in this nation, which is ridiculous considering how prosperous the nation has been compared to some others, but, for the most part, we’ve had it easy. The majority of us haven’t lived through a depression and have never had to do without a welfare system in place to buffer us. It may be tough on us for a while. We may not like the ride, but we’ll survive it and be stronger and smarter because of it.

Come on now! You know it's true.

UCLA STUDY

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that
the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on
where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged
and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal,
she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and
a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

From the Garden of the Prophet

And Almustafa was silent, and he looked away toward the hills and toward the vast ether, and there was a battle in his silence.

The he said:

"My friends and my road-fellows, pity the nation that is full of beliefs and empty of religion."

"Pity the nation that wears a cloth it does not weave, eats a bread it does not harvest, and drinks a wine that flows not from its own winepress."

"Pity the nation that acclaims the bully as hero, and that deems the glittering conqueror bountiful."

"Pity the nation that despises a passion in its dreams, yet submits in its awakening."

"Pity the nation that raises not its voice save when it walks in a funeral, boasts not except among its ruins, and will rebel not save when its neck is laid between the sword and the block."

"Pity the nation whose statesman is a fox, whose philosopher is a juggler, and whose art is the art of patching and mimicking."

"Pity the nation that welcomes its new ruler with trumpetings, and farewells him with hootings, only to welcome another with trumpetings again."

"Pity the nation whose sages are dumb with years and whose strong men are yet in the cradle."

"Pity the nation divided into fragments, each fragment deeming itself a nation."


excerpt from The Collected Works of Kahlil Gibran

Thoughts of an evening

Better still that you seek the truth and build where
it's secure
Than blind yourself with hopes and dreams
and love that's so unsure.
Beyond the surface that you perceive, the depths
never end.
Know the face you look upon, what lies
beyond and within.
Accept a lover as a friend should clarity
reveal
A person you know not at all and love which
isn't real.


rs

Thoughts of today

Thanks to television, for the most part, we're introduced to characters backed by real actors whom we seem to develop symbiotic relationships with. We relate to them on some level for we seek to be like them and share information with others as if we know them intimately. We've become more entwined with actors' lives than we oftentimes are with those of our families, friends, and neighbors. Many of us today can't give you the name of the person residing next to us and yet we can quote a litany of information about someone we'll never opportune to meet. Why have we fallen victim to living passive lifestyles? What is so attractive about actors, sports and music celebrities that they've become the lead point of society? I'd think that it's what they represent...success, prestige, money, but our little ones, who know nothing of finances, become as wrapped up in these people as adults do. Is it because they're easily accessible, because they ease our boredom, because they offer an escape from more serious matters, because they represent attainable achievement, or because through them our dreams have wings? I watched the children's movie, Wall-E, recently and it now comes to mind due to the scenes of humans blinded by video screens and oblivious to their immediate environment much less the world at large. What would occur should every American decide to omit television from their lives for even one week?

~

If starving and given the opportunity and one dollar, would you buy yourself a hotdog or a lottery ticket?

Unused moments

The drive to the airport drags even as it passes much too quickly. Thoughts which should be shared remain private, moods are subdued. The smiles of Friday gone on Sunday. Where did the time go, you wonder, just as you do at the end of each stolen weekend. It's never long enough. What would constitute long enough to satisfy you...a week, a month, forever? Sometimes it feels as if even forever would never be long enough.

But, you put those thoughts aside, encourage a smile that you in no way feel and brave your way through another goodbye, another parting, another tear shed when safe from view. Heaven forbid you allow true emotion to govern the moment and affect those certain to follow. Unknowns and uncertainties hold your voice in check, forever muting the entreaties, the desires, the promises that would bind. Human fears, human frailties stay your impulse. The moment, once again given opportunity, remains unused.

Boarding a plane yet again; bridging the two worlds you seem destined to occupy. There are times when you tire of the travel, the delays, the layovers, and other times when the excitement builds as if it's your first foray into flying all over again. It's been two years now this month since the first temptation, the first curiosity, was stirred by words; a breath of a promise offered by another. Words were all you had at the time but, in that time and unlike now, they were enough. Cautious curiosity gave way to acceptance, trust and understanding. Words were your battleground, your playground, your refuge. Before them and by them, you spent your days intertwining your lives. Like ivy, you emerged into the unknown expanse driven only by instinct. Your words, your sustenance encouraging tendrils securing you, supporting you, until filling the space where once there was nothing.

As the plane taxies across the tarmac, you think again of that wasted moment and all the promises that you two could guarantee compared to the lack of guarantees offered by life. Though inclined to ignore the thought that this plane might not get you from point A to B, the thought does come unbidden to remind you that that last unused moment could at any time be the last. Why do you insist on blind optimism that the moments are unending, uninterruptable, always at your command?

Curious Fledgling

Do you think fledglings face uncertainty when they peer over the edge of the nest for the first time? Do you think that they look to the sky and instinctively know that they belong there? Do you think that initial freefall into nothingness brings fear or exhilaration?

I was just wondering. Saturday, while I was at work, I watched the birds which nest in the eaves of the buildings and these questions came to mind.

I often dream of flying without benefit of wings or machines, not unlike Superman's ability. I love heights but I fear falling; fear the lack of control. I want to know I'm securely attached by gravity even as I extend beyond the edge into that nothingness. I want to know that my freefall will be halted or slowed by a tether to something. When I peer into the endless sky, I am awed and, as I look to the distant earth, I experience fear and exhilaration. There are no instinctive genes in my DNA which prepare me and keep me from wanting to remain in place even as my spirit compels me to leap.

When you rise between the layers of clouds in the atmosphere and eventually reach an apex which allows a panorama similar to what you see in depictions of Heaven, you want to step out and walk through those clouds as if there exists a firm foundation beneath them. Whether due to the imagery you've been fed or a definite sense of being closer to God, it becomes as peaceful, if not more so, as gazing toward the horizon across an endless sea. Maybe it's just because it represents a void filled with possibilities, new paths, infinite dreams. When these clouds part to reveal the patterns of earth and man below, it's a curious feeling to be separate and above them...a part of them, yet alone. It's always an incredible feeling when you're reminded of how small and insignificant you are, when you can see so far beyond yourself.

Would that small bird feel the same way as I would upon stepping out of the hatch of a plane; hoping his wings would not fail him even as I would be hoping my parachute would minimize my descent? I'm sure that is yet one more answer I'll never know.

To all you mothers...Happy Mother's Day

Motherhood... It Will Change Your Life

By Dale Hanson Bourke

from Everyday Miracles and Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul

Time is running out for my friend.

We are sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown and she is considering the prospect of motherhood.

"We're taking a survey," she says, half jokingly. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say carefully.

"I know," she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations..."

But that is not what I mean at all.

I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbirth heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking "What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will look at the mothers and wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think she should know that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will immediately reduce her to the primitive level. That a slightly urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might successfully arrange for child care, but one day she will be waiting to go into an important business meeting, and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure he is all right.

I want my friend to know that everyday routine decisions will no longer be routine. That a visit to Mc Donald's and a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's room will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that danger may be lurking in the rest room.

I want her to know that however decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not so much to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My friend's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his son. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would never have imagined.

I wish my modern friend could sense the bond she will feel with other women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your son learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real that it hurts.

My friend's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

"You'll never regret it," I say finally.

Politically Confused

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080430/ap_on_el_pr/obama_pastor

By MIKE GLOVER, Associated Press Writer

Obama stated flatly that he doesn't share the views of the man who officiated at his wedding, baptized his two daughters and been his pastor for 20 years. The title of Obama's second book, "The Audacity of Hope," came from a Wright sermon.

My question is...If you don't share the views of a leader, do you follow him? And for 20 years? Does not some of what is said in your presence affect how you yourself think, feel, act? Do we not take something away from each interaction with humankind?

"What became clear to me is that he was presenting a world view that contradicts who I am and what I stand for," Obama said. "And what I think particularly angered me was his suggestion somehow that my previous denunciation of his remarks were somehow political posturing. Anybody who knows me and anybody who knows what I'm about knows that I am about trying to bridge gaps and I see the commonality in all people."

The problem here is that the majority of us don't know Mr. Obama and that's what we're all trying to figure out. Is he posturing for a win? Is he genuine? How can you determine the worth of a man/woman based on the media when you're not certain what is fact or fiction?

Although Obama leads in pledged delegates, no Democrat can win the nomination without the support of the superdelegates, the elected officials and party leaders who can vote their preference. The Wright furor forces those Democrats to wonder about Obama's electability in November.

Facing that reality, Obama sought to distance himself further from Wright.

Does not this separation, after a twenty year friendship, call into question why ...if he doesn't agree with his pastor...it's taking candidacy for presidency to force him to confront where he stands? Rev Wright seems to be firm in where he stands without wavering a bit. I'm afraid I must applaud him for that though I don't necessarily agree with all his views.

"I have been a member of Trinity United Church of Christ since 1992, and have known Reverend Wright for 20 years," Obama said. "The person I saw yesterday was not the person that I met 20 years ago."

Of course, there are many things which cause us to change through the years. Generally, however, unless it's something traumatic, we're seldom shaken from our deepest convictions. Just who Rev Wright is, I have no clue but I feel Obama has had a clue along the way.

I'm about tired of this political confusion but I'll have to have some strong feeling for someone in this blasted race come election day. Who shall it be? I'm so sick thinking of the amount of money pulled in by both these Democrats to further their personal causes which could have been better spent on our hungry children and medical research. Arghh!!! I'd better find something else to occupy my thoughts.

New Orleans Jazz Fest

Top-notch bands play the clubs of New Orleans year-round, but it's hard to beat the lineup and festivities surrounding the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, held April 25-27 and May 1-4. Performers will include Stevie Wonder, Billy Joel, Jimmy Buffet, The Neville Brothers, Santana, Sheryl Crow, Al Green, and thousands more (yes, you read that correctly). "N'awlins" food specialties served on the grounds feature crawfish, andouille gumbo, and alligator pie.

From Primedia Publications

Let the Good Times Roll: The French Quarter
There's still nothing else like it.

	The mix of colorful buildings, cobblestones and courtyards provide a unique backdrop for the Vieux Carré.

Who says you can't mix a little fun with your history? New Orleans' French Quarter—the Vieux Carré—offers a little of both. Here you can seek traces of Andrew Jackson, Jean LaFitte, Louis Armstrong, Tennessee Williams, and even Napoleon Bonaparte. There's nothing else in the United States quite like New Orleans and its Old World charm.

The French founded New Orleans in 1717 with plans to create a shipping center near the Mississippi's mouth. France ceded the territory to Spain in 1763 and got it back in 1800. Napoleon Bonaparte sold the entire Louisiana Territory to the United States in 1803. All those changes of ownership helped New Orleans gain a distinctly cosmopolitan aura.

An army under Andrew Jackson defeated the British just outside New Orleans in 1815, turning Jackson into a national hero. You can find his statue in Jackson Square in front of the St. Louis Cathedral, the oldest cathedral in the U.S. Another hero during the Battle of New Orleans was pirate leader Jean LaFitte, who met with Jackson in the Vieux Carré (the exact site is still under debate) and offered his pirate army to the Americans.

New Orleans is also recognized as the birthplace of jazz, a musical gumbo of influences ranging from West Indian to European classical music. Louis Armstrong was born here, and visitors love to hear old-style jazz at Preservation Hall or at any of the lively venues along Bourbon Street. New Orleans has had an impact on other arts too. Playwright Tennessee Williams found inspiration here, and his A Streetcar Named Desire is a classic evocation of the city.

And what about Napoleon? The man who sold New Orleans to the United States never saw it for himself. Loyalists did hatch plans, however, to spirit the Little Emperor from his exile on the island of St. Helena and set him up in the French Quarter. But Napoleon died before he could be rescued. The house prepared for him is now the Napoleon House tavern.

For more information about New Orleans, call the city's Convention and Visitors Bureau at (504) 566-5011. The Jazz and Heritage Festival runs from the last weekend in April to the first weekend in May. The date for Mardi Gras varies from year to year—"Fat Tuesday" falls just before Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent.

Devil's Swimming Pool

In Zimbabwe , Africa, you will find the magnificent Victoria Falls at a height of 128m. The location is known as "The Devil's Swimming Pool".

During the months of September and December, people can swim as close as possible to the edge of the falls without falling over!

These falls are becoming well known amongst the "radical tourist" industry as more and more people search for the ultimate experience.

Would you dare?

Pre-nups?

I'm listening to a discussion on one of my favorite satellite stations which keep me entertained while driving back and forth from work. This is the lighter station of the ones I listen to when I need just pure entertainment away from the ups and downs of current news. You never know what topic they might be discussing but, considering it's Cosmo, you can imagine.

This particular discussion centered around Pre-nups, those little agreements some individuals feel the need to have prior to committing themselves to unguaranteed nuptial bliss. So, I pose the question to you...what do you think of legally binding prenuptial agreements? Have you ever taken part in one?

I've been sitting here thinking about it and have certain thoughts/feelings regarding it but I don't quite have my mind wrapped around it. In fact, one Carolina lawyer stated that it was the best option of the less-than-wealthy considering they have the most to lose in a failed relationship, ie., lawyer fees, loss of work, unsettled debt prior to the union, etc.

Thoughts:

Relationships are not guaranteed. It's a give and take situation where two people have decided to join not only their hearts but also all other resources towards the fulfillment of themselves and the union. While some situations are known and recognizable right off the bat, others will only arise as time passes. There is no way you can cover all situations within the parameters of an agreement which is based on what two people feel is important at that time. Our definition of important is often abridged as we go through life.

There again, there are some things we know will never change; our basic values, inherent likes and dislikes, etc.

Of course, a pre-nup can be limited to financial only but these guys/gals were suggesting that it include many things which "might" alter the happiness of one or both individuals at some point, such as weight gain. Within the vows, do we not promise to honor, love, and cherish without listing the "what-ifs"? Should we state instead, "I promise to honor you as long as you live up to my expectations, love you as long as you always look the way you do now, cherish you as long as you don't reveal any disgusting habits."? Should we just insert the words, "I might..."? Maybe we should forego vows altogether if we're doubtful about the union to begin with and keep it succinct, "I, ____ ,take thee, _____ ,to be my lawfully wedded spouse. Where do I sign?"

Don't get me wrong, I'm forever logical and I do see the logic within it. However, I'm also emotional and I totally understand the doubt we place on the union by even such a suggestion that it might not work out. There again...

It's not as if we live in a country where the union is sacred. Here, we can marry within moments in Las Vegas and even annul the union if we so choose...it doesn't matter if we had sex all night. Long gone are the religious constraints most felt in other generations or still face in other societies.

And, let's face it, in today's society our worth is based on finance. If you have impeccable ratings, the last thing you want to do and be able to succeed is to marry someone who might put that at risk. So, do you insure yourself against it?

Perhaps we should do a thorough background check on each possible mate or hire a detective to investigate his entire life. I mean, it's not as if we spend years getting to know some of these people. Seldom do we have revealed to us the little negative things which might make us think twice to begin with. Do we take the chance that we really know someone or risk our hearts and futures on the possibilities? It's what we normally do. Love is blind faith as much as any religion, after all, isn't it?

As you can see, my thoughts have not brought me to a conclusive decision but are still warring with one another.

Considering the ease and rate of divorce in this country, would approaching a marriage union as we would a business deal be better? Would it not ease a separation should it occur? No divorce is easy, most are hell. You're led into a marriage by hope. faith, and love for one another. You leave it with confusion, heartache and most often animosity for one another. It isn't important to please one another any longer so why make the division of assets, children, or whatever, easy for one another?

Of course, this brings to mind a question I find few can answer. If someone doesn't want you, why hang on to them? Why can't people just agree that both have a right to happiness and be kind enough to assist one another toward that? I mean, really! If someone isn't happy with me, there's no way I will be happy with them. Common sense!!! Once all attempts have been made, it's kinder to yourself to let the person go and wish him the best while you go in search for the best for yourself. Petty battling over assets is nothing more than a method to hold on to the person and the relationship. Divvy up and get the hell out!

Ah well, I'm still going around in circles with these thoughts and I must return to work. Leave a comment if you wish. I'd love to see your opinions.

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

Photo borrowed from About.com:Political Humor

A day of peace

Today is a day of peace.

A day where I've given myself permission to be content.

Today

I won't worry about the things I can't control.

I won't be bothered by people who would place the blame for their own discontent on me.

I won't allow petty or major issues to mar my appreciation of the world's beauty.

I won't worry about tomorrow or yesterday, those two areas of time I can do nothing about.

I won't seek beyond what is right this moment, within each moment.

I won't wish for more than I have; desire more than that which comes my way because it is destined for only me.

I won't waste time on thoughts of regret, allow fear to be my companion, or even ponder the universe.

I won't bemoan the fact that the day is never long enough to get everything done, but will instead be inordinately pleased with each accomplishment regardless of how small.

I accept within this day exactly what there is and who I am. It is enough. I feel balanced, at peace, and the world is indeed a wonderful place. Where I am at this moment is a nice place to be. I should practice it more often.

The I in Life

Who am I, really? What does it matter who I am? What is there to finding one's self? Do you ever really find who you are? Do you really want to be defined, compartmentalized, and encapsulated?

I'd earlier written about who I am, stating obvious facets of the person I've become, even as I was consciously aware that there's no way any of us can define ourselves simply for the comprehension of others. We must be experienced even as we experience others and life itself. Much of who we are is still unrevealed to us so we cannot grant full knowledge to another even if we so desired.

Just as with a delicious wine or cuisine, our senses are awakened by the differing nuances which seem familiar but can't always be placed. Manipulated by the winemaker or chef, an original and simple idea becomes a recipe for success. By introducing one or more variations to the original recipe over time, masterpieces of creativity are developed. Life is our chef, our winemaker, and each moment introduces variations which shape us into individual masterpieces. What starts out as simple and familiar evolves into something complex and elusive. We perceive in others that which is familiar but to know the rest takes time and experience.

I want to have a center; a balance between myself and the universe. I want to have a basis as a human being with familiar traits, emotions, experiences but, beyond that center, I want to be forever renewed. I want each day that I share breath with the other inhabitants of this life to be unique in some way, to offer possibilities, to bring comprehension and awareness of who I could be, what roles I might play, and how miniscule and unimportant I truly am outside of my own reality.

As I walk out into each new day, I don't want to miss the amazing transfiguration of life which lends originality to even the most mundane and familiar. Should I pass the same delicate flower, gaze upon similar pristine, irregular clouds, or stumble over the same crack in the weathered sidewalk, I want to be thoroughly sentient that this is an irrefutably singular moment unlike any which came before or shall ever be again, and I want to be able to appreciate it for what it is, what it can be, and what I can do with it.

As much as I want to be relevant to this life, I want to be relevant to my life. I don't want to get to the end of it wondering who lived it. As chaotic, disorganized, and confusing as it may seem to myself, others in my life, or much less the casual observer at times, there is a destination and only I can steer myself there. I want to appreciate the individuality of others without wishing to emulate them. I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations but my own. I want to be who I am supposed to be and only time within this life will reveal who that is.

Sometimes I don't know whether to be happy or afraid that I'm content to just exist; that the simplest of life's moments bring me the greatest pleasure. There are things in this life that aren't part of the natural order, but rather those of man, which will cause me to exert myself on my own behalf and yet there is much I'd rather leave to others to pursue. I would rather belong to myself than desire a place which requires me to be other than who I want to be. Sometimes the desires war with one another within my psyche and the resultant emotions take up the battle within my heart. Today’s desire may be tomorrow’s achievement or justification. I don’t always know which way to go but I know wherever I end up will be an okay place too for I’ll be there. I know that I have to be okay with me for I’m the only one leading this life. Should I not manage to accomplish all that my heart does desire, there will have been a reason for it…most likely of my own…and I must exalt in whatever victories did come my way and hopefully not forever bemoan those which didn’t.

What I must guard against are those patterns of behavior and thinking which are detrimental to my definition of success. I make mistakes and errors in judgment all the time, but I learn as I go. I am my own worst critic and, as inescapable as that is, I don’t allow my own criticism to break me but instead to guide me into the next of life’s moments. I can’t guarantee I won’t make the same mistakes twice; I can only try my best not to.

I’m a marvel of creationism and evolution for it seems most likely they’re both involved. I’ve been given everything I need to make it in this life and to make it what I want it to be. What I want it to be is exactly what it is…an inalterable hub upon which an ever-changing opportunity of possibilities revolves. Thankfully, that’s exactly what life offers with each passing moment.

The Last Lecture

Quandary:Rote Life

*Man shot to death by estranged brother-in-law

*46-year-old grandmother run over and killed by son

*Man found dead in the middle of county road, cause unknown

*Eighteen-month-old child dies following fall from moving vehicle

*Twenty-year-old man struck and killed by train while resting on tracks

*Young father dies at work after being struck by a fallen tree limb

*Father of two shot to death by father-in-law

Likely headlines, all. Definitely tragedies.

These lines preface the stories about individuals who once lived and breathed just as we now do. Relatives, each and every one, whose tragic and sometimes accidental deaths carry no more weight or importance than all of those who died of more natural causes. Natural, I suppose, would be to live to a ripe old age and then to just stop breathing one dark and quiet night. However, with no warning, these lives ended much sooner than seems reasonable.

Regardless of how abrupt or drawn out death may be, it always reawakens our own perception of life. For a time, we resolve to be more aware, to take more time to enjoy, to live up to our dreams and then this perception fades into the realities of making it through this life just one more day.

When do we stop to fully appreciate the gift we've been given? When do we put aside the responsibilities to experience the heady realization of life within every pore of our bodies? When do we achieve that ultimate peace and happiness that simple living brings us?

Knowing that life can be so fleeting, how can we not remain as perceptive as we were when faced with the demise of those who've gone before us?

Moments to consider

Sometimes it becomes almost impossible to maintain a good outlook despite your best efforts. Nothing stands alone; each moment affects the ones after it so, when things happen to make you feel one way or another, do you stop to consider that moment in itself separate from all the previous moments? Should that moment be sifted and set aside to determine if your feelings are in direct reflection of that moment or if they're due to an accumulation of moments which compounded the current one?

You can go about your day consciously noticing the benefits, the assets, the good things and still they somehow don't always offset the negatives you encounter. Some moments and the situations they contain can be easily dealt with and discarded. They make little impression, while others linger with you affecting the remaining moments of your day and beyond. You can't always say, "...if you let them affect you.", for your subconscious will sometimes refuse to let go of a thought or an emotion regardless and it resides within you possibly influencing every thought and action. Sometimes you wonder what in the world is wrong with you and can only pinpoint the cause when "that" moment works its way back to a higher level and replants itself into your awareness.

By that time, you hope you've not caused irreparable damage along the way or maimed other's feelings who didn't deserve it. Unfortunately, there's not always the luxury of time to give the matter the attention it deserves and requires and it must be set aside to be dealt with later. I suppose it would be best to make the time and resolve your feelings regarding it so that it can be truly let go.

Even as I think of my such moment today, the thought crosses my mind that there is absolutely nothing imperfect in this world with the exception of humans. I'm reminded of the "order" of things and the chaos we generate on so many levels. Perhaps I shouldn't be forever disappointed by human nature, but I'm what my ex would call an eternal optimist, although those exact words would most likely not be used by him. When discussing a situation regarding one of my children and following a comment I'd made, he said, "You always do that, don't you?" I was at a loss as to what he meant and reflected on my reply to him and the accompanying emotion before I realized what he referred to. I

I guess I don't carry the weight of a negative mind. I know there is as much chance for positives as there are negatives; as much chance for sunshine as for rain. I believe there is always room for hope. Because I have my dark moments, because I do despair, because I do become depressed, and because I do want to sometimes avenge my hurts and worries, I would never have considered myself an "eternal optimist". If I seriously consider that, however, maybe it explains my ability to be continually disappointed and overly affected by these moments I encounter.

So now, after a long day of work and duties to perform afterward, I sit and quietly reflect on a particular moment during this day which affected how I performed throughout. I should have and could have done much better. Well, tomorrow's a new day and that includes 86,400 moments which could bring pleasant surprises instead of disappointments. One can always hope.

Have a wonderful week, everyone.

Did you know you and your pets were taking these medications?

I usually listen to Good Morning America as I prepare for work each morning. This morning one issue caught my attention enough for me to stop and watch. Of course, during the broadcast, they were concentrating on the effects humans were experiencing due to the subject matter but I also was interested in the effects our environment is experiencing. What possible mutations or other negative effects are being caused? They did take the time to mention that some male fish have been found to have developed female organs. I thought it was important enough to pass along the information. We humans affect one another in so many obvious ways and it's helpful to be reminded of the less obvious, but sometimes more detrimental ways. Although I don't live in a major metropolitan area, I doubt our water filtration system is practicing different measures.

Related article:

AP probe finds drugs in drinking water

By JEFF DONN, MARTHA MENDOZA and JUSTIN PRITCHARD, Associated Press WritersSun Mar 9, 5:03 PM ET

A vast array of pharmaceuticals — including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones — have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans, an Associated Press investigation shows.

To be sure, the concentrations of these pharmaceuticals are tiny, measured in quantities of parts per billion or trillion, far below the levels of a medical dose. Also, utilities insist their water is safe.

But the presence of so many prescription drugs — and over-the-counter medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen — in so much of our drinking water is heightening worries among scientists of long-term consequences to human health.

In the course of a five-month inquiry, the AP discovered that drugs have been detected in the drinking water supplies of 24 major metropolitan areas — from Southern California to Northern New Jersey, from Detroit to Louisville, Ky.

Water providers rarely disclose results of pharmaceutical screenings, unless pressed, the AP found. For example, the head of a group representing major California suppliers said the public "doesn't know how to interpret the information" and might be unduly alarmed.

How do the drugs get into the water?

People take pills. Their bodies absorb some of the medication, but the rest of it passes through and is flushed down the toilet. The wastewater is treated before it is discharged into reservoirs, rivers or lakes. Then, some of the water is cleansed again at drinking water treatment plants and piped to consumers. But most treatments do not remove all drug residue.

And while researchers do not yet understand the exact risks from decades of persistent exposure to random combinations of low levels of pharmaceuticals, recent studies — which have gone virtually unnoticed by the general public — have found alarming effects on human cells and wildlife.

"We recognize it is a growing concern and we're taking it very seriously," said Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator for water at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.

Members of the AP National Investigative Team reviewed hundreds of scientific reports, analyzed federal drinking water databases, visited environmental study sites and treatment plants and interviewed more than 230 officials, academics and scientists. They also surveyed the nation's 50 largest cities and a dozen other major water providers, as well as smaller community water providers in all 50 states.

Here are some of the key test results obtained by the AP:

_Officials in Philadelphia said testing there discovered 56 pharmaceuticals or byproducts in treated drinking water, including medicines for pain, infection, high cholesterol, asthma, epilepsy, mental illness and heart problems. Sixty-three pharmaceuticals or byproducts were found in the city's watersheds.

_Anti-epileptic and anti-anxiety medications were detected in a portion of the treated drinking water for 18.5 million people in Southern California.

_Researchers at the U.S. Geological Survey analyzed a Passaic Valley Water Commission drinking water treatment plant, which serves 850,000 people in Northern New Jersey, and found a metabolized angina medicine and the mood-stabilizing carbamazepine in drinking water.

_A sex hormone was detected in San Francisco's drinking water.

_The drinking water for Washington, D.C., and surrounding areas tested positive for six pharmaceuticals.

_Three medications, including an antibiotic, were found in drinking water supplied to Tucson, Ariz.

The situation is undoubtedly worse than suggested by the positive test results in the major population centers documented by the AP.

The federal government doesn't require any testing and hasn't set safety limits for drugs in water. Of the 62 major water providers contacted, the drinking water for only 28 was tested. Among the 34 that haven't: Houston, Chicago, Miami, Baltimore, Phoenix, Boston and New York City's Department of Environmental Protection, which delivers water to 9 million people.

Some providers screen only for one or two pharmaceuticals, leaving open the possibility that others are present.

The AP's investigation also indicates that watersheds, the natural sources of most of the nation's water supply, also are contaminated. Tests were conducted in the watersheds of 35 of the 62 major providers surveyed by the AP, and pharmaceuticals were detected in 28.

Yet officials in six of those 28 metropolitan areas said they did not go on to test their drinking water — Fairfax, Va.; Montgomery County in Maryland; Omaha, Neb.; Oklahoma City; Santa Clara, Calif., and New York City.

The New York state health department and the USGS tested the source of the city's water, upstate. They found trace concentrations of heart medicine, infection fighters, estrogen, anti-convulsants, a mood stabilizer and a tranquilizer.

City water officials declined repeated requests for an interview. In a statement, they insisted that "New York City's drinking water continues to meet all federal and state regulations regarding drinking water quality in the watershed and the distribution system" — regulations that do not address trace pharmaceuticals.

In several cases, officials at municipal or regional water providers told the AP that pharmaceuticals had not been detected, but the AP obtained the results of tests conducted by independent researchers that showed otherwise. For example, water department officials in New Orleans said their water had not been tested for pharmaceuticals, but a Tulane University researcher and his students have published a study that found the pain reliever naproxen, the sex hormone estrone and the anti-cholesterol drug byproduct clofibric acid in treated drinking water.

Of the 28 major metropolitan areas where tests were performed on drinking water supplies, only Albuquerque; Austin, Texas; and Virginia Beach, Va.; said tests were negative. The drinking water in Dallas has been tested, but officials are awaiting results. Arlington, Texas, acknowledged that traces of a pharmaceutical were detected in its drinking water but cited post-9/11 security concerns in refusing to identify the drug.

The AP also contacted 52 small water providers — one in each state, and two each in Missouri and Texas — that serve communities with populations around 25,000. All but one said their drinking water had not been screened for pharmaceuticals; officials in Emporia, Kan., refused to answer AP's questions, also citing post-9/11 issues.

Rural consumers who draw water from their own wells aren't in the clear either, experts say.

The Stroud Water Research Center, in Avondale, Pa., has measured water samples from New York City's upstate watershed for caffeine, a common contaminant that scientists often look for as a possible signal for the presence of other pharmaceuticals. Though more caffeine was detected at suburban sites, researcher Anthony Aufdenkampe was struck by the relatively high levels even in less populated areas.

He suspects it escapes from failed septic tanks, maybe with other drugs. "Septic systems are essentially small treatment plants that are essentially unmanaged and therefore tend to fail," Aufdenkampe said.

Even users of bottled water and home filtration systems don't necessarily avoid exposure. Bottlers, some of which simply repackage tap water, do not typically treat or test for pharmaceuticals, according to the industry's main trade group. The same goes for the makers of home filtration systems.

Contamination is not confined to the United States. More than 100 different pharmaceuticals have been detected in lakes, rivers, reservoirs and streams throughout the world. Studies have detected pharmaceuticals in waters throughout Asia, Australia, Canada and Europe — even in Swiss lakes and the North Sea.

For example, in Canada, a study of 20 Ontario drinking water treatment plants by a national research institute found nine different drugs in water samples. Japanese health officials in December called for human health impact studies after detecting prescription drugs in drinking water at seven different sites.

In the United States, the problem isn't confined to surface waters. Pharmaceuticals also permeate aquifers deep underground, source of 40 percent of the nation's water supply. Federal scientists who drew water in 24 states from aquifers near contaminant sources such as landfills and animal feed lots found minuscule levels of hormones, antibiotics and other drugs.

Perhaps it's because Americans have been taking drugs — and flushing them unmetabolized or unused — in growing amounts. Over the past five years, the number of U.S. prescriptions rose 12 percent to a record 3.7 billion, while nonprescription drug purchases held steady around 3.3 billion, according to IMS Health and The Nielsen Co.

"People think that if they take a medication, their body absorbs it and it disappears, but of course that's not the case," said EPA scientist Christian Daughton, one of the first to draw attention to the issue of pharmaceuticals in water in the United States.

Some drugs, including widely used cholesterol fighters, tranquilizers and anti-epileptic medications, resist modern drinking water and wastewater treatment processes. Plus, the EPA says there are no sewage treatment systems specifically engineered to remove pharmaceuticals.

One technology, reverse osmosis, removes virtually all pharmaceutical contaminants but is very expensive for large-scale use and leaves several gallons of polluted water for every one that is made drinkable.

Another issue: There's evidence that adding chlorine, a common process in conventional drinking water treatment plants, makes some pharmaceuticals more toxic.

Human waste isn't the only source of contamination. Cattle, for example, are given ear implants that provide a slow release of trenbolone, an anabolic steroid used by some bodybuilders, which causes cattle to bulk up. But not all the trenbolone circulating in a steer is metabolized. A German study showed 10 percent of the steroid passed right through the animals.

Water sampled downstream of a Nebraska feedlot had steroid levels four times as high as the water taken upstream. Male fathead minnows living in that downstream area had low testosterone levels and small heads.

Other veterinary drugs also play a role. Pets are now treated for arthritis, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, allergies, dementia, and even obesity — sometimes with the same drugs as humans. The inflation-adjusted value of veterinary drugs rose by 8 percent, to $5.2 billion, over the past five years, according to an analysis of data from the Animal Health Institute.

Ask the pharmaceutical industry whether the contamination of water supplies is a problem, and officials will tell you no. "Based on what we now know, I would say we find there's little or no risk from pharmaceuticals in the environment to human health," said microbiologist Thomas White, a consultant for the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America.

But at a conference last summer, Mary Buzby — director of environmental technology for drug maker Merck & Co. Inc. — said: "There's no doubt about it, pharmaceuticals are being detected in the environment and there is genuine concern that these compounds, in the small concentrations that they're at, could be causing impacts to human health or to aquatic organisms."

Recent laboratory research has found that small amounts of medication have affected human embryonic kidney cells, human blood cells and human breast cancer cells. The cancer cells proliferated too quickly; the kidney cells grew too slowly; and the blood cells showed biological activity associated with inflammation.

Also, pharmaceuticals in waterways are damaging wildlife across the nation and around the globe, research shows. Notably, male fish are being feminized, creating egg yolk proteins, a process usually restricted to females. Pharmaceuticals also are affecting sentinel species at the foundation of the pyramid of life — such as earth worms in the wild and zooplankton in the laboratory, studies show.

Some scientists stress that the research is extremely limited, and there are too many unknowns. They say, though, that the documented health problems in wildlife are disconcerting.

"It brings a question to people's minds that if the fish were affected ... might there be a potential problem for humans?" EPA research biologist Vickie Wilson told the AP. "It could be that the fish are just exquisitely sensitive because of their physiology or something. We haven't gotten far enough along."

With limited research funds, said Shane Snyder, research and development project manager at the Southern Nevada Water Authority, a greater emphasis should be put on studying the effects of drugs in water.

"I think it's a shame that so much money is going into monitoring to figure out if these things are out there, and so little is being spent on human health," said Snyder. "They need to just accept that these things are everywhere — every chemical and pharmaceutical could be there. It's time for the EPA to step up to the plate and make a statement about the need to study effects, both human and environmental."

To the degree that the EPA is focused on the issue, it appears to be looking at detection. Grumbles acknowledged that just late last year the agency developed three new methods to "detect and quantify pharmaceuticals" in wastewater. "We realize that we have a limited amount of data on the concentrations," he said. "We're going to be able to learn a lot more."

While Grumbles said the EPA had analyzed 287 pharmaceuticals for possible inclusion on a draft list of candidates for regulation under the Safe Drinking Water Act, he said only one, nitroglycerin, was on the list. Nitroglycerin can be used as a drug for heart problems, but the key reason it's being considered is its widespread use in making explosives.

So much is unknown. Many independent scientists are skeptical that trace concentrations will ultimately prove to be harmful to humans. Confidence about human safety is based largely on studies that poison lab animals with much higher amounts.

There's growing concern in the scientific community, meanwhile, that certain drugs — or combinations of drugs — may harm humans over decades because water, unlike most specific foods, is consumed in sizable amounts every day.

Our bodies may shrug off a relatively big one-time dose, yet suffer from a smaller amount delivered continuously over a half century, perhaps subtly stirring allergies or nerve damage. Pregnant women, the elderly and the very ill might be more sensitive.

Many concerns about chronic low-level exposure focus on certain drug classes: chemotherapy that can act as a powerful poison; hormones that can hamper reproduction or development; medicines for depression and epilepsy that can damage the brain or change behavior; antibiotics that can allow human germs to mutate into more dangerous forms; pain relievers and blood-pressure diuretics.

For several decades, federal environmental officials and nonprofit watchdog environmental groups have focused on regulated contaminants — pesticides, lead, PCBs — which are present in higher concentrations and clearly pose a health risk.

However, some experts say medications may pose a unique danger because, unlike most pollutants, they were crafted to act on the human body.

"These are chemicals that are designed to have very specific effects at very low concentrations. That's what pharmaceuticals do. So when they get out to the environment, it should not be a shock to people that they have effects," says zoologist John Sumpter at Brunel University in London, who has studied trace hormones, heart medicine and other drugs.

And while drugs are tested to be safe for humans, the timeframe is usually over a matter of months, not a lifetime. Pharmaceuticals also can produce side effects and interact with other drugs at normal medical doses. That's why — aside from therapeutic doses of fluoride injected into potable water supplies — pharmaceuticals are prescribed to people who need them, not delivered to everyone in their drinking water.

"We know we are being exposed to other people's drugs through our drinking water, and that can't be good," says Dr. David Carpenter, who directs the Institute for Health and the Environment of the State University of New York at Albany.

____

The AP National Investigative Team can be reached at investigate (at) ap.org

Temporary Temperatures

Thursday I left work to temps in the low seventies and beautiful colors in the sky. Friday evening shows that Mother Nature is in an impish mood. Ihope the video works. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Star light, star bright...

I stood this evening simply gazing into the sky admiring the pinks, blues, golds and oranges of the sunset. The sunsets lately have seemed more beautiful than ever before though I'm sure it's just my current perception. I find that I do this a lot lately since the sun is usually setting as I lock up after work. Sometimes, I'll remember that I have a camera with me and will shoot a photo or two for later enjoyment. The landscape outside my workplace is not exactly conducive to beautiful sunset photos since there's an interstate which runs just behind it in the direction of the setting sun. Although I've daydreamed that interstate was a barrier hiding my view of the beach and ocean just on the other side, the dream is difficult to maintain thanks to the eyesores populating the place. There are areas within the U.S. which preserve the beauty of the natural landscape by strictly restricting what may be placed alongside the roadways but, apparently, my area isn't one of them.

I went outside tonight after something I'd left in the car and once again found myself pausing and admiring the night sky. Unlike so often lately, the sky was perfectly clear and I could see stars both near and far. Though I'm not familiar with the constellations and their placement, I can always find the "Dippers". I don't think I know anyone who hasn't, at one time or another, wished upon a star...the first of the evening, a shooting one, or all at once in hopes that maybe, just maybe, there might be some iota of truth in the fantasy.

I can remember wishing for my mother's return as a child, wishing to be pretty as a teen, and wishing for someone special as an adult. That my mother did return years later, that I was granted looks which some found favorable, and that someone special did come into my life, does that mean there was magic at work? Who am I to discount the possibility?

Life is a gamble. Control is an illusion. We have no control over all the elements involved in any given moment. We'll never hope to fathom all the mysteries in this universe. We can't begin to comprehend even our own miniscule part in this grand universe so how can we discount the presence of angels, the shadow of spirits, the existence of a parallel universe, or the power of fairy rings?

We hope when things seem their darkest. We wish when things seem out of our reach. We dream to enhance our reality. We find faith so we have something to hold on to. We believe so that there's meaning to it all. We participate in life and we go on. It is what we do and we do it well.

Bolstering my courage

How do you define a life?

How much do we get caught up in living a life which is shaped by someone other than us? Is it society's patterns which we automatically conform or adjust to without giving it much thought to break the pattern? Those who choose to follow the tune of a different drummer are, within their own time, looked upon as nonconformists, rebels, weirdos, and often very misunderstood and unfortunate individuals. Is not the point of life to live it for yourself? Is not the pursuit in life to be happy and live it to the fullest? So, within the constraints of what is expected of us, do we miss out on many small experiences which we should be mourning? Many of those seen as rebels and ridiculed or condemned for being different are the very souls who have created enough change in their individual environments to reverberate into the remainder of society affecting much needed change or have left an indelible legacy behind now admired by many.

With regards to women, for generations it was expected that each woman would grow up, marry, start a family and never desire more for herself than that. Most accepted this and never looked beyond it. There are rules for society which we automatically follow and, if we step outside of what's acceptable, we are ourselves unacceptable. Those women who chose to seek more for themselves faced many obstacles and, while many fell to the wayside, others fought for themselves and in turn opened the door for the rest of us.

Take children for instance. We conceive them most usually within the confines of what is accepted overall by society. It is accepted that the best environment is two married parents of the opposite sex. In raising those children, there is a fundamentally accepted way to do so. Much of what we do for our children we do so in conformity to what government has ruled is decent and acceptable for the future of the nation's society overall. They must attend school, for instance. I'm not arguing the validity of that particular rule but there was a time not terribly long ago when only the most fortunate or wealthy children attended school. Some children became apprentices and learned a trade even when they didn't learn to read and write. It is expected that we can only love our children if we're seen to provide the basic necessities on a regular basis and many people have been convinced to give up their children when unable to provide on the premise that they'd do so if they truly wanted the best for their children. It is a general rule that if you marry and have children, you must become secondary in your own life so most of us relinquish our individual dreams and desires to direct all our efforts in their direction. For a lot of people, this is enough. For others, all their families are left with is an automated shell of a person just getting through the day.

I guess I'm sitting here wondering exactly how much of our lives we live confined to acceptable limits. While many of us grumble about our lives, we're obviously either secretly comfortable and happy with them but feel the need to explain away why we did nothing more or we don't have the gumption or courage to break the cycle we've created for ourselves or we've allowed to be settled upon us by society's expectations. Society has determined, through eons of history, what is best for individuals, families, and other groups. What happens when you choose to live outside the norm? Does it do irreparable harm to you, to your children or can it possibly shape a stronger generation?

Of course, I've been reading and it's caused me to think beyond the pages. "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls is a story about her own life. She and her siblings were raised by free-spirited, non-conformist parents and, though there was much they were deprived of, she reveals much that she and her siblings experienced which many children will never do. After the last page of her story, I'm left wishing I could know even more of what she and her siblings think about their lives as compared to those children who lived "normal" lives. Their accomplishments are their own but I wonder who they'd have become had their parents been the run-of-the-mill responsible, suburban conformists. Would they be different people? How much of our environment does affect who we become or would we be the same thanks to inherent characteristics despite our environment?

Ah well, I have to admit that while I'm glad I was able to provide for my children and they lived a normal existence, I sometimes wish I'd taken detours along the way just so they'd have comparison and experiences to draw upon. I so often wish I'd been less of the "expected" mother and more of a free spirit for them. Is it too late to affect anything? lol

Have a good weekend, everyone.