Moments to consider

Sometimes it becomes almost impossible to maintain a good outlook despite your best efforts. Nothing stands alone; each moment affects the ones after it so, when things happen to make you feel one way or another, do you stop to consider that moment in itself separate from all the previous moments? Should that moment be sifted and set aside to determine if your feelings are in direct reflection of that moment or if they're due to an accumulation of moments which compounded the current one?

You can go about your day consciously noticing the benefits, the assets, the good things and still they somehow don't always offset the negatives you encounter. Some moments and the situations they contain can be easily dealt with and discarded. They make little impression, while others linger with you affecting the remaining moments of your day and beyond. You can't always say, "...if you let them affect you.", for your subconscious will sometimes refuse to let go of a thought or an emotion regardless and it resides within you possibly influencing every thought and action. Sometimes you wonder what in the world is wrong with you and can only pinpoint the cause when "that" moment works its way back to a higher level and replants itself into your awareness.

By that time, you hope you've not caused irreparable damage along the way or maimed other's feelings who didn't deserve it. Unfortunately, there's not always the luxury of time to give the matter the attention it deserves and requires and it must be set aside to be dealt with later. I suppose it would be best to make the time and resolve your feelings regarding it so that it can be truly let go.

Even as I think of my such moment today, the thought crosses my mind that there is absolutely nothing imperfect in this world with the exception of humans. I'm reminded of the "order" of things and the chaos we generate on so many levels. Perhaps I shouldn't be forever disappointed by human nature, but I'm what my ex would call an eternal optimist, although those exact words would most likely not be used by him. When discussing a situation regarding one of my children and following a comment I'd made, he said, "You always do that, don't you?" I was at a loss as to what he meant and reflected on my reply to him and the accompanying emotion before I realized what he referred to. I

I guess I don't carry the weight of a negative mind. I know there is as much chance for positives as there are negatives; as much chance for sunshine as for rain. I believe there is always room for hope. Because I have my dark moments, because I do despair, because I do become depressed, and because I do want to sometimes avenge my hurts and worries, I would never have considered myself an "eternal optimist". If I seriously consider that, however, maybe it explains my ability to be continually disappointed and overly affected by these moments I encounter.

So now, after a long day of work and duties to perform afterward, I sit and quietly reflect on a particular moment during this day which affected how I performed throughout. I should have and could have done much better. Well, tomorrow's a new day and that includes 86,400 moments which could bring pleasant surprises instead of disappointments. One can always hope.

Have a wonderful week, everyone.