What is it about a wedding ring which creates a difference in how we approach one another?
I was talking to a friend who was married for years who was the constant attention of females. It was rumored that he did step outside his vows on occasion and, though we often kidded about it, I never asked him outright if the rumors were true. Maybe I didn’t want to know that intimately about him as if I’d somehow become more entangled in his own drama. He was divorced not terribly long ago and then changed jobs and I now seldom see him. During our conversation, I asked him if being married once was enough for him or if he just hadn’t found the right person to make that leap again and he admitted that the right person just hadn’t come along.
Because of his past reputation and the fact that he was still single, I asked him if being married and being single was that vastly different in being approached by women and he readily agreed that it was. While married, women were constantly flaunting themselves at him, tempting him, and that has changed. It’s difficult re-entering the dating scene after years of being comfortably paired with someone. The shift in mentality is a strain in itself but then you’re forced to examine yourself physically, financially, and emotionally to see if you’re even an attractive enough package to lure the single women of the world. Too often, you become just another stool warmer hoping someone will make and hold eye contact with you.
So what is it about the ring on a man’s finger which attracts the attention of women? I’ve considered the possibilities but am sure I’m missing some.
1. They don’t threaten you. You’re free to flirt and practice your wiles and walk away. They become your practice arena to perfect your ability to attract the eventual one you’ll keep.
2. They pose a challenge. You relieve the boredom of life by seeing if you can make a married man look your way. For those truly into a challenge, you go after the ones who are sincerely attached to their spouses for they pose the biggest challenge of all.
3. They belong to someone. You see the person as worthy of having because someone else already chose him and kept him. Maybe if you can attract him away, you’ll be the lucky one instead.
4. They offer no strings attached. You, whether married or single yourself, have no interest in a long-term relationship and see these individuals as the perfect hunting ground, especially when they’re of the same frame of mind.
5. They’re available. You have no ulterior motive but, since you’re in close proximity to one another and find things in common, things just happen as they will.
6. They are outnumbered by females. The pool of available men is small compared to the number of available women. Factor in the undesirables and that number becomes even smaller. Are you fishing from the married pool because you have better options there?
Needless to say, this question could be posed for the ring on a woman’s finger as well and the experiences and insights I’m getting from men this morning are not so different from a woman’s for the most part.
I personally went from being married and flirted with to single and hit upon. I put a wedding ring on my finger to hopefully offset some of the unwanted attention I was getting because I hadn’t placed myself on the meat market and it had no real effect; the faces just changed. From my own experience, however, I got the impression (and it’s strictly my own) that the majority of men doing the flirting would have been just as content if the women they had at home posed the same challenge, smiled the same mysterious smile, and generated the fantasy which was distracting them.
I was talking to a friend who was married for years who was the constant attention of females. It was rumored that he did step outside his vows on occasion and, though we often kidded about it, I never asked him outright if the rumors were true. Maybe I didn’t want to know that intimately about him as if I’d somehow become more entangled in his own drama. He was divorced not terribly long ago and then changed jobs and I now seldom see him. During our conversation, I asked him if being married once was enough for him or if he just hadn’t found the right person to make that leap again and he admitted that the right person just hadn’t come along.
Because of his past reputation and the fact that he was still single, I asked him if being married and being single was that vastly different in being approached by women and he readily agreed that it was. While married, women were constantly flaunting themselves at him, tempting him, and that has changed. It’s difficult re-entering the dating scene after years of being comfortably paired with someone. The shift in mentality is a strain in itself but then you’re forced to examine yourself physically, financially, and emotionally to see if you’re even an attractive enough package to lure the single women of the world. Too often, you become just another stool warmer hoping someone will make and hold eye contact with you.
So what is it about the ring on a man’s finger which attracts the attention of women? I’ve considered the possibilities but am sure I’m missing some.
1. They don’t threaten you. You’re free to flirt and practice your wiles and walk away. They become your practice arena to perfect your ability to attract the eventual one you’ll keep.
2. They pose a challenge. You relieve the boredom of life by seeing if you can make a married man look your way. For those truly into a challenge, you go after the ones who are sincerely attached to their spouses for they pose the biggest challenge of all.
3. They belong to someone. You see the person as worthy of having because someone else already chose him and kept him. Maybe if you can attract him away, you’ll be the lucky one instead.
4. They offer no strings attached. You, whether married or single yourself, have no interest in a long-term relationship and see these individuals as the perfect hunting ground, especially when they’re of the same frame of mind.
5. They’re available. You have no ulterior motive but, since you’re in close proximity to one another and find things in common, things just happen as they will.
6. They are outnumbered by females. The pool of available men is small compared to the number of available women. Factor in the undesirables and that number becomes even smaller. Are you fishing from the married pool because you have better options there?
Needless to say, this question could be posed for the ring on a woman’s finger as well and the experiences and insights I’m getting from men this morning are not so different from a woman’s for the most part.
I personally went from being married and flirted with to single and hit upon. I put a wedding ring on my finger to hopefully offset some of the unwanted attention I was getting because I hadn’t placed myself on the meat market and it had no real effect; the faces just changed. From my own experience, however, I got the impression (and it’s strictly my own) that the majority of men doing the flirting would have been just as content if the women they had at home posed the same challenge, smiled the same mysterious smile, and generated the fantasy which was distracting them.
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