Christmas In The Trenches

Christmas in the Trenches

(John McCutcheon)

My name is Francis Tolliver, I come from Liverpool.
Two years ago the war was waiting for me after school.
To Belgium and to Flanders, to Germany to here
I fought for King and country I love dear.
'Twas Christmas in the trenches, where the frost so bitter hung,
The frozen fields of France were still, no Christmas song was sung
Our families back in England were toasting us that day
Their brave and glorious lads so far away.

I was lying with my messmate on the cold and rocky ground
When across the lines of battle came a most peculiar sound
Says I, ``Now listen up, me boys!'' each soldier strained to hear
As one young German voice sang out so clear.
``He's singing bloody well, you know!'' my partner says to me
Soon, one by one, each German voice joined in harmony
The cannons rested silent, the gas clouds rolled no more
As Christmas brought us respite from the war
As soon as they were finished and a reverent pause was spent
``God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen'' struck up some lads from Kent
The next they sang was ``Stille Nacht.'' ``Tis `Silent Night','' says I
And in two tongues one song filled up that sky
``There's someone coming toward us!'' the front line sentry cried
All sights were fixed on one long figure trudging from their side
His truce flag, like a Christmas star, shown on that plain so bright
As he, bravely, strode unarmed into the night
Soon one by one on either side walked into No Man's Land
With neither gun nor bayonet we met there hand to hand
We shared some secret brandy and we wished each other well
And in a flare-lit soccer game we gave 'em hell
We traded chocolates, cigarettes, and photographs from home
These sons and fathers far away from families of their own
Young Sanders played his squeezebox and they had a violin
This curious and unlikely band of men

Soon daylight stole upon us and France was France once more
With sad farewells we each prepared to settle back to war
But the question haunted every heart that lived that wonderous night
``Whose family have I fixed within my sights?''
'Twas Christmas in the trenches where the frost, so bitter hung
The frozen fields of France were warmed as songs of peace were sung
For the walls they'd kept between us to exact the work of war
Had been crumbled and were gone forevermore

My name is Francis Tolliver, in Liverpool I dwell
Each Christmas come since World War I, I've learned its lessons well
That the ones who call the shots won't be among the dead and lame
And on each end of the rifle we're the same

This world we inhabit is perfectly balanced. From the lowest order to the highest, there is purpose. It is only the human species, the intelligent animal, which seems to be dissatisfied with a simple purpose. We invite chaos into order on many different levels and we do so in the name of justice, progress, and other names which give justification to destructive paths. What happens when all we have remaining are the "protected" natural resources? How long shall they remain protected in the face of human need and greed? We manipulate science to our advantage and show little respect for the very resources which we cannot exist separate from. It isn't enough that we have supremacy over all other living things for we must establish supremacy over one another.

We seem to have become an angry species. Tolerance, acceptance, and respect have become negative words in the modern vocabulary. We are going through a stage, we're finding our way, and we're handling it most ineptly. Thanks to modern advances, we are a global society. Never before have we been so interconnected. It's no longer a matter of taking a trip and being glad to get home. Home has expanded to incorporate the realities of every human on this planet. Prior to modern advances, the individual groups of humans were pretty much ignorant of one another. What we knew came from adventurers, historians, discoverers, and emissaries. We, for the most part, were influenced day to day by others like us. Most countries and inner communites flourished under common beliefs and unified values. Children were raised within that influence creating a continuance. We are today bombarded with influences at an uncontrollable rate. What we're familiar with and accept is threatened and we're automatically on the defensive. Change is necessary to continue to evolve as humans but we're ill-prepared for the rate of change we're experiencing. If we, as adults, can't find our way, we'll never be able to guide our children. There must be a common factor, if it's nothing more than mutual respect and acceptance as we find further common ground upon which we can all exist peacefully.

The majority of Americans have existed under a Christian belief since the founders of our country influenced its creation with similar beliefs brought from their motherland. Freedom of religion, however, was important enough for them to include in the laws that would govern this nation and it's worked for us since then. Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, aetheist, etc., have lived beside one another for generations without undue influence upon one another. The current conflict isn't a religious war; it has only become one in the minds of people due to the religious backgrounds of the combatants. War is never based on something as pure as religion though it's often used as an excuse. As the poem above states, those bravely in the bullet's path, are not those who call the shots. It's those we put into a place of power over us.

However incomprehensible the idea may seem, this current war, like WWI, too shall one day slip from our daily consciousness and escape into memory. Those who've died will be forever eulogized; those who've survived, lauded. History books, depending on the viewpoints of those involved, will tell us a story of dedication, bravery, strategies, losses and victories. There will be a supportable reason for the war but never a full understanding from anyone why people can't cohabitate peacefully. What shall not wane from day to day or be relegated to history is the presence of God for those who believe in Him.

Jesus, though the reason for the season, is a 24/7/365 presence and with the troops always.

For those directly involved, whether combatant or bystanding civilian, our thoughts and prayers are with you. We wish for you joy during this season, safety always, and a return to peace. For the troops unable to be with loved ones during this time, we support you, we love you, and look forward to your return.

I Have Lived

I’ve felt the movement of limbs from within and seen the first breath of life.

I’ve walked among many and been loved by a few; been a daughter, a mother, a wife.

I’ve felt the emotions with an array so vast; been taken high and brought low.

I’ve wanted and needed, given and taken, understood and sought to know

I’ve lain in the grass; climbed in the trees, flown, and danced in the rain

I’ve watched as loved ones were taken away and learned to smile through the pain.

I’ve endured the cold, been warmed by the sun, run barefoot on the beach

I’ve striven, accomplished, and relinquished those things which seemed to remain out of reach.

I’ve taken chances, made mistakes, and conformed when preferring to stay free.

I’ve loved and I’ve lost; I’ve loved again; yet still seek the true one for me.

I’ve breathed in the scent of the loveliest blooms and gazed on a horizons of pink

I’ve learned and taught, imagined and dreamed, and still continue to think.

I’ve been praised and belittled, trusted and blamed, sinned according to some

I’ve traveled to heaven and visited hell, and accept there are still trips to come.

I’ve witnessed the advancement of science and seen the world shrink in size

I’ve traveled virtually to all those places I could only yearn for in life.

I’ve compared and found wanting existence I’ve known, never quite being content

I’ve a new appreciation for life with this list and see clearly those moments misspent.

I2I

It's cold down here

It has turned cold and, for anyone from the southern US, it doesn't take much temperature drop for us to start complaining. While blizzards blow and transportation comes to a standstill further North, we're usually still walking around mid-day in short sleeve t-shirts and shorts because our weather patterns usually don't turn on us until later in January, if then, and only for a short while. I've seen snow only a few times in my life and only twice when we were able to make decent snowmen. Of course, by the time the snowmen were built, we'd exhausted the lawn's supply of snow or else it was already melted away. While we may battle endless mosquitoes, dreaded humidity, and exhausting heat, it's still preferable to the icy north winds simply because it's what we're accustomed to. So, when it's cold, our cold may be anyone else's comfort level. I've seen people who've migrated from the North walk around in our coldest weather with a light jacket or none at all while my teeth are chattering and I'm muttering under my breath. People here tell me to "put some fat on my bones," but I find the cold little reason to add extra layers of fat when I can layer my clothing instead. The problem is, the layers just don't seem to do the trick.

One problem I have with the cold is TMJ, that irritable problem you sometimes encounter with your jaw (s). I suffer from it mildly but I have to watch how I sleep, make sure I don't prop my chin in my hand or talk on the phone with it pressed to my shoulder, and I have to make certain to keep my jaw relaxed in the cold. That is difficult to do because, as soon as I get cold, I grit my teeth. This, in turn, causes stress on my jaws. It's a vicious cycle.

Another issue I have are the drafts which circulate inside this older house. Depending on where I'm situated in the house, I'm either freezing or suffocating due to the inadequacies of the central air. There is no comfort zone and the thermostat regulates terribly. If you don't hit just the right mark on it, the air either stays off for too long or on forever. But, it's still better than standing out in the cold.

My last complaint is static electricity. There's something about my chemistry which encourages the creation of the stuff. I get out of a car, which I do off and on all day, and I get shocked. I walk into the post office, I get shocked. I enter a store, the same thing happens. I touch a filing cabinet, I cringe. It's so bad that I tentatively approach any metal surface and touch it with the tip of my finger before grabbing hold. This, of course, slows progress if you have others in behind you. Sometimes it's downright painful and sparks will fly, but most of the time it's just startling, therefore I'm constantly seen jerking or jumping as if I'm having a fit. And you might know everyone else thinks it's funny. Any suggestions on how to stop it?

Oops! Thought of another one. Northern drivers beware if you come to the south during winter. Southerners do not know how to drive on icy roads. We just aren't prepared. We know absolutely nothing about heaters for our engines or chains on our tires. What we do know is the number to just about anyone with a 4-wheel drive truck and, since there are plenty of hunters, there are plenty of 4-wheel drive trucks with mudder tires rambling the roads as if they're rich as Arabs with the amount of fuel they must be consuming. I must admit that they're quite generous fellows, though. If they see you in trouble, they stop to help. Come to think of it, I'm not sure if it's generosity or plain old glee at getting to put their 4-wheels to the test, especially if there's mud involved. It's probably a mixture of both really.

Don't let me make you think I don't like the cold. We often wish for snow since it's such a foreign item. We have different sunsets due to the time change. I love the quiet which comes with winter and the brightly colored deciduous trees peeking from the pines as the cold signals it's time to shed their leaves. I love the scents rising from chimneys and across the breeze. I love a reason to rotate slowly in front of those fireplaces as if I'm a chicken on a rotisserie. Since we're ill-prepared for ice storms, they're a good excuse to get out of school or work and even the occasional winds that blow tree limbs on the power lines give us an excuse to light the oil lanterns and get reacquainted. There are positives and negatives to each season, I suppose, just as there are to each region. While we may curse the cold, we're going to do the same when the heat rises beyond what we think it should. Maybe we just have to have something to complain about so that everything else seems okay. lol

I wish for you clear roads, mild winds, and days filled with love and laughter.

Sexual Confusion

More years ago than I care to recount, I was born without any outward appendage that would cause anyone to consider me a male. At last glance, there still had not sprouted any new addition to my naturally female anatomy. Why then, am I besieged with endless emails which seem to be under the mistaken impression that I am indeed a male? Regardless of which email account or under whichever pseudonym or real name, I am deemed a male, obviously, and, just as obviously, I am supposed to be a male who is woefully insufficient in sexual organ dimension.

Today's suggestions, not unlike any other day's contributions, are:

Do not be loser change your male device size

Don't be shame because of your male device size

Change your sexual life enlarge your machine size

You have possiblity to become real man

To be well hung is now stylish

Huge size to please your lassie (I'm hoping they aren't talking about the dog)

Give your body an unusual upgrade for New Year!

Special New Year offer for penis enlargement

Don't miss out! Grow a monster in your pants for New Year!

The most effective remedy for your dik

Now, regardless of spelling and punctuation errors, they all offer the same thing. Actually, I'm a little surprised today due to the fact that they've almost all removed the word penis. Prior to today, they ALL contained that word or some slang term we've probably all heard at one time or another.

Unfortunately, the ones I'm referring to have come through my work email because some person on the network decided to download, open, or view a file or site they shouldn't have. At least my personal email recognizes 99.5% of them and removes them as trash so that I don't have to wade through them to get to the important stuff. Because our work email is "popped" into our Outlook folders, I have no hope of receiving less of these unless corporate does something within their own network email system. Actually, they seem to just get more numerous each day.

Oh well, at least they offer a reason to laugh, if nothing else.

Perhaps it's a good thing they aren't targeting the correct sex or I might get a complex.

WTH?! Search results are arguable

The images above are the result of a simple search using the Google engine. If you can see the detail, you'll see the top results provided using the search criteria gift ideas for 5 year old girl. Scanning down the list, I decided to click on the one which says http://www.childtoysstore.com/toys/girl-toy/toy-for-5-year-old-girl.htm.

At first glance, I totally overlooked the navigator bar which displayed Pic Of Girl And Anal Toys and even overlooked the descriptive paragraph for I was looking at the sidebar content. Once I'd scanned down through the lists of suggested toy categories, my eye traveled back up through the center of the page to the Related Toys area and there, mixed in with Disney princess jewelry and baby annabell, were the phrases girl wet and toy, lesbian, toy for girl horney. Huh?

So, anyway, I began really looking at the site and my confusion didn't abate one iota. Needless to say, I didn't waste my time navigating the entire site. I did remove the extension to see what the home page contained and it was a bit more encouraging. However, I won't be doing any shopping through this particular site. As a matter of fact, since I still have it open, I'm going to look for a contact point for the site owners.

Happy shopping and surfing everyone.

Edit addendum:

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Year's End

I can't believe it's December and the end of another calendar year. You'd think that life would slow down along with you, but it somehow continues to accelerate while you're left standing in place. Days blend into one another and they're taken for granted and then, toward the end of the year, we look up from our daze of routine and predictability and realize that time has once again escaped us. We begin to take stock of what we've accomplished, of how much life we've actually lived, and sometimes we're content with our assessment, though hardly always.

Our good intentions from the previous New Year's resolutions may or may not have become reality. The changes we hoped for might have been put off for another 365 days because we always think there's a tomorrow. It takes real effort to make change happen and more so to follow it through and most of us find ourselves content to remain in our comfort zone of familiarity. Perhaps it's because we're happy with the way our lives really are and the changes we promise ourselves are due to what we think others, even society, expect of us. Perhaps we're working off images of our lives or ourselves which we refused to discard but which really belong to another person we knew long ago. Perhaps we're derailed by the people we accept into our lives and then feel a responsibility for. I really don't know why. Perhaps we're just lazy.

I, for one, had certain plans for this year which have not come to fruition. It's no-ones fault but my own, of course. Plans have a way of changing whether you want them to or not. It doesn't mean that I've given up on the plans I made; it simply means that some have been delayed, some have altered in vision, and some have been discarded intentionally as personal need and desire was fully realized. Life is a balance of want and need, anticipation and disappointment, success and capitulation, stark reality and ideology. The way I figure it, any amount of change is consequential. Even if you consider the changes insignificant, they have a way of affecting life overall, sometimes immediately and oftentimes in the unknown future.

The most difficult lesson I've had to learn (I should say accept, for I always knew it) is that I really can't control the people in my life. By control, I don't mean that I want to direct their lives; it simply means that I can't protect them from how my own decisions might upset the balance of their lives. While taking care of my father for most of my life, so many decisions I made were based on how they would affect him. When I added children to the mix, my sense of responsibility multiplied. Many things I wanted or desired were ignored because I couldn't guarantee the effect it might have overall. I wanted guarantees and, though I knew nothing in life was guaranteed, I chose to act or not to act based on their availability. Alone, I would risk anything. Alone, however, is not something you are if you have even one person closely connected to your life. I have had, and do have, more than one. I have several, in fact, and though I even now realize that I should be making life decisions based on myself, my wants and needs, I find that old habits don't die hard at all; they simply linger on another plane of existence waiting for their chance to re-enter my reality. The small change is that I recognize this fear of hurting, disappointing, or alienating those connected to me and manage to ignore it at times. I made several decisions this year for myself and have found that life didn't crash around me. Those who genuinely care about me accomodated the decisions even if they were less than happy with them. They've learned that there's more to me than daughter, mother, friend, and businesswoman and they're adjusting. Of course, I now wonder why I allowed fear for them to rule my life for so long and there are a lot of "what-if's", but I prefer to continue looking forward instead of backward.

Another thing I've found is that impediments can be positive elements despite how you feel about them in the moment. Sometimes you find that what you think you desire with all your heart is inconsequential when time allows you to reflect upon it. Without impediments, we'd often leap without looking and sometimes looking at something for a while will reveal to you whether it's a prize worth pursuing or just something second-rate, something that's right for you or not. Patience is not only a virtue, it's often a life-effectuation.

Lastly, I've learned that, though it's better to have a plan, plans are nothing more than intent. Whether it is a year-end resolution, scheduled vacation, job-change, engagements; all of these are subject to change and are not set in concrete. Failing to see them through does not necessarily mean we lack a sense of direction, that we're self-delusional, or even powerless. It simply means that we allowed life to get in the way and apparently the importance of those things we resolved, or planned, wasn't any greater than the day-to-day things we already deal with. Life introduces variables into our daily existence, some imperceptible and some very tangible. Plans can and will fall through and it's okay. You have to re-evaluate and continue forward on the best path for yourself. Though tomorrow isn't guaranteed, we go on faith that the sun shall rise. Planning ahead facilitates but does not dictate life.

I am...

Simply said

I am...

one of the "arrogant" Americans for which I do not apologize any more than I would expect others to apologize for their land of birth and the society which has shaped the persons they are. The truth is that we are all products, first and foremost, of our primary society and, ultimately, of global society and we cannot escape the fact that we are all one in the name of humanity and we're all, individually and as groups, responsible for what takes place on this planet we inhabit. We cannot determine if there are in fact other forms of humanity elsewhere and our Gods are omnipresent yet inaccessible to us, so it is up to us as a global community to make this world what we would wish it to be. We can point out the deficiencies and proficiencies in one another as individuals, sexes, races, and nationalities but we cannot escape the fact that we are accountable as individuals for the way we allow ourselves to think, feel, and act and, though we are different in so very many ways, we are ultimately the same. Despite our placement and outward appearances, we are all basically genetically related and yet we insist on standing apart. We will never be immune to some heirarchy which will attempt to suppress or control us. We will live beneath the power of something because we forget that we are the larger power and that the "little" people, when joined, do have the power to change the status quo. If we all truly wanted something to be a certain way we could make it happen and yet we would rather choose to allow our differences to hinder us. I am me, but I am also you. I hope the considerations I make today reflect well on you.

"I am...

woman. Hear me roar." I have the opportunity to relate to that popular song quotation because I was blessed to be born a woman in the twentieth century and I also happen to have been born under the sign of the Lion. I am the thankful recipient of a better place in society due to the efforts of women who weren't afraid to demand better rights for the "fairer" sex. I happen to appreciate the differences between men and women and recognize my own inability to perfom some tasks which men excel at, but I believe a person should be treated on an equal basis without preconceived notions of what they "might" be qualified for in life. Is that an American view? No, it's a human view. If a woman in any society feels within herself that she serves a certain purpose and is comfortable with her life, more power to her. If, however, a woman is a victim of her society regardless of what her personal desires might be, that is a crime against her. I, personally, have never wanted to be a man. I've wanted to have equality, but never the desire to be the opposite sex. While being female means that I'm an emotional creature, I've found that emotion can tie me in place and also propel me forward. To those I love, I will remain steadfast even if competing desires exist. I figure personal sacrifices are measurable and, when done in the name of love, worthwhile.

I am...

a mother and will never accomplish anything in this life to surpass this. Man may have been gifted with supremacy thus far in society and politics, but the supreme power has never been his and, unless science provides means as yet unknown, never shall. Some women never feel the desire to propagate life; some women mourn the inability to do so; fortunes are made on the human need, and for those of us to whom it comes easily and welcomed, there is nothing greater in this life. Perhaps it is this one power women possess which has caused men to subjagate women for centuries. Men already know that women are as intelligent as they and that running this world does not require personal physical prowess when you can get enough strength to support you and protect your back. Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth, and other such leaders proved that. How so is it then that women have been relegated to an inferior position? Religion? I pause to think of Hillary Clinton and her bid for presidency. As a woman, would she prove to be any different than her predecessors or would she guide the nation as men before her have done because she is locked into a system established and still majorly ruled by men? Would she affect a better course and would it have anything to do with the fact that she approaches it as a female...and a mother?

I am...

not infallible. I make mistakes daily but not always readily or knowingly. I do, however, accept responsibility for my thoughts, words, feelings and actions but expect others to do the same with their own and not contribute them to me. I can shoulder your own as well as mine, but I prefer not to. I will agonize over my own decisions and courses my life has taken because of them, but I accept that most in my life is within my control and that I cannot control another. I believe that there is nothing in this life separate and standing alone; that there is a chain reaction, or ripple effect. I'm not certain, nor shall I ever have the answer, whether all that is here remains as a continuous cycle of energy. I can only hope that, if it is so, the energy left behind by me is more positive than negative; more beneficial than detrimental.

I am...

evolving; growing. I believe I've grown as a person more so in the last couple of years than I have most of my life and this is because I've become my own person instead of always being what others want or expect of me. It is quite a liberating feeling and one worth pursuing and developing. Unfortunately, during this process of self-acknowledgment, people I love have been caught in the tangled emotional and indecisive minefield...some have remained and others gave up too easily and willingly or just simply lost sight that they really knew who I was despite the confusion and allowed an inner voice to guide them elsewhere. Nevertheless, what I mourn or exalt in is mine to do so. Hopefully, along this new path I'll find more to take pride in than mourn the loss of. Since a person never stops the process of change, it's important to be open to all new experiences. There are times I feel the wonder of a child and other times when the appreciation is more subtle but everything is worthy of our notice and time. Perhaps if we had the awareness of a child, we'd be more purposefully conscious of all that goes on around us, our place in the scheme of things, and our responsibility to future generations. I'd much rather try new things than remain comfortably stagnant in the familiar and I hope that I'll always be properly appreciative of my ability to go and do as so many are unable to.

I am...

finished with this for now. I am no-one; I am someone. To many I have value, to more I don't exist. What is important is my value to myself. This sometimes is debatable for I'm my own worst critic but overall I figure I'm as important as the next person; no better, no worse. Being me is not the worst life could offer and if I don't like something then it's up to me to change it. This I can do.

This will be my truth as I see it but I'm always open to insights and opinions from others since through this interaction I continue the growth process. My truth cannot be another's any more than theirs can be my own for life shapes us through individual experience and never shall we share equally in them.