Rituals you can't avoid

Human evolution has brought us to a point in time where a hair-covered torso and limbs is no longer appreciated; actually, for many, it's considered downright gross. We now go to extremes to remove hair that nature intended for warmth as well as protection from the elements and less friendly intruders. Nose hair is there to prevent inhaling unwanted matter as well as an early-warning system to alert us to invading insects, right? Sure, the skin itself is sensitive but it's the tiny hairs that cover you that really bring your attention to foreign things. Depending on how much exposure your skin has had, its sensitivity is lessened. When you shave the hair off your arms and legs, there's a delayed reaction in noticing a crawling insect, isn't there? I KNOW I'm not the only one to have noticed this, so say, "right." Your eyelashes and brows are there for protection as well. Thank goodness we haven't deemed those as unattractive as well.

Madonna might choose to go without shaving her underarms and raise a few eyebrows but, hey, it works for her! Where once only gymnasts, dancers, bodybuilders, and the like chose to shave their nether regions, it's become more the norm and there are very few Sasquatch types running around in 'polite' circles. I hope I didn't give you a similar image like the one I just had with a very hairy gymnast flipping across the floor for the cameras. Yikes! It's all in what we get accustomed to, I guess. Our preferences are directed by media and society but, thankfully, we don't completely lose our individuality. Not everyone likes a mate smoothly shaven ALL over. : ) However, for those who choose to allow a forest to grow unchecked, it's much less startling to a viewer if you've remembered to cross your legs in public.

Why am I bringing up this subject? Because my name's Insane? That could be part of it. However, I just exited the shower where I went through the ritual shaving process (anyone who knows me knows that I hate shaving and will forego it when possible, which is seldom). It would be nice if all hair follicles produced hair that grew in the same direction. You see men shaving the same area in one direction and then another. Well, I have to do that with my legs so the process time doubles. My sisters, whom I shared a king-sized bed with for several years, often complained that I didn't shave. In my pre-teen years, I was confused. I'd just shaved and they were complaining as if I'd not just knicked myself all over and had pea-sized dots of tissue stuck where none should exist. It took me a while, but I finally caught on that my hair was not all growing in one direction and that shaving in smooth vertical swipes as they did on television ads was not going to work for me.

Add to that the fact that, while men's shavers have been improved over many more years than women's, most shavers were brutal. I have no idea how many slivers of tissue have been removed from my shins, how many notches have been taken from my knees and ankles, or how many scars are visible, but I do remember quite clearly the burning sensation that went with each shave error, the inordinate amount of time shaving took, and how much I hated every razor I've ever owned. Until, that is, I found the Gillette Venus. I'm not certain off-hand which Gillette razor it is but I do know it's the one with a head that had 3 blades. There is one which has 5 blades. You'd think 5 blades are better than three but, after using both, I've found the 3-blade head preferable for two reasons...the head is smaller and better for a woman's contours and also the 5-blade does not seem to shave as closely. What I've found I like best about this razor is how incredibly fast I can shave without once knicking myself. Seriously!! I zoom over knees and around ankles without EVER cutting myself or removing those patches of skin that were always having to renew themselves. I've been forced to use other products when my fav wasn't available but I always go back to it. So, yes, I'm endorsing a product. Ladies, if you haven't tried it and you hate shaving as much as I, buy one. If you don't like it, I will not be giving you your money back. ;)

Since I'm endorsing a product, let me give you another one in case you've not tried it as well. PedEgg. Pamper your feet for they've got to take you many more miles down the paved and concreted paths of life. We all get callouses which, if not taken care of, will cause pain and discomfort over time, not to mention that they look like crap with summer sandals and flip-flops (thongs, to Aussies and Brits). I've tried the razor blade contraptions and chemical treatments but that little, inexpensive egg-shaped shaver is painless and effective. (Don't soak your feet before using.) The razors are not supposed to be used in salons and coarse pumice and the likes don't always remove well. Besides, I just hate paying for something I can do myself and I also think that using something like sandpaper on my skin creates more issues than eliminating them sometimes. The cost of one PedEgg is comparable to one pedicure at most low-end salons. Might as well try it but do be careful and follow directions. I don't endorse maiming yourself with either Gillette razor or PedEgg nor will I be held responsible. K?

While we're on the subject...please use nail clippers regularly on those tootsies and avoid maiming your bed partners. And, if you caught a partner with good hygienic habits, please continue them after the settling in. If you were clean shaven, does he/she deserve a Sasquatch? We do take so much for granted when the new wears off, so why should we wonder why our partners look elsewhere? Yes, I know this was all information you didn't need so I'll go finish my own rituals.