This particular discussion centered around Pre-nups, those little agreements some individuals feel the need to have prior to committing themselves to unguaranteed nuptial bliss. So, I pose the question to you...what do you think of legally binding prenuptial agreements? Have you ever taken part in one?
I've been sitting here thinking about it and have certain thoughts/feelings regarding it but I don't quite have my mind wrapped around it. In fact, one Carolina lawyer stated that it was the best option of the less-than-wealthy considering they have the most to lose in a failed relationship, ie., lawyer fees, loss of work, unsettled debt prior to the union, etc.
Thoughts:
Relationships are not guaranteed. It's a give and take situation where two people have decided to join not only their hearts but also all other resources towards the fulfillment of themselves and the union. While some situations are known and recognizable right off the bat, others will only arise as time passes. There is no way you can cover all situations within the parameters of an agreement which is based on what two people feel is important at that time. Our definition of important is often abridged as we go through life.
There again, there are some things we know will never change; our basic values, inherent likes and dislikes, etc.
Of course, a pre-nup can be limited to financial only but these guys/gals were suggesting that it include many things which "might" alter the happiness of one or both individuals at some point, such as weight gain. Within the vows, do we not promise to honor, love, and cherish without listing the "what-ifs"? Should we state instead, "I promise to honor you as long as you live up to my expectations, love you as long as you always look the way you do now, cherish you as long as you don't reveal any disgusting habits."? Should we just insert the words, "I might..."? Maybe we should forego vows altogether if we're doubtful about the union to begin with and keep it succinct, "I, ____ ,take thee, _____ ,to be my lawfully wedded spouse. Where do I sign?"
Don't get me wrong, I'm forever logical and I do see the logic within it. However, I'm also emotional and I totally understand the doubt we place on the union by even such a suggestion that it might not work out. There again...
It's not as if we live in a country where the union is sacred. Here, we can marry within moments in Las Vegas and even annul the union if we so choose...it doesn't matter if we had sex all night. Long gone are the religious constraints most felt in other generations or still face in other societies.
And, let's face it, in today's society our worth is based on finance. If you have impeccable ratings, the last thing you want to do and be able to succeed is to marry someone who might put that at risk. So, do you insure yourself against it?
Perhaps we should do a thorough background check on each possible mate or hire a detective to investigate his entire life. I mean, it's not as if we spend years getting to know some of these people. Seldom do we have revealed to us the little negative things which might make us think twice to begin with. Do we take the chance that we really know someone or risk our hearts and futures on the possibilities? It's what we normally do. Love is blind faith as much as any religion, after all, isn't it?
As you can see, my thoughts have not brought me to a conclusive decision but are still warring with one another.
Considering the ease and rate of divorce in this country, would approaching a marriage union as we would a business deal be better? Would it not ease a separation should it occur? No divorce is easy, most are hell. You're led into a marriage by hope. faith, and love for one another. You leave it with confusion, heartache and most often animosity for one another. It isn't important to please one another any longer so why make the division of assets, children, or whatever, easy for one another?
Of course, this brings to mind a question I find few can answer. If someone doesn't want you, why hang on to them? Why can't people just agree that both have a right to happiness and be kind enough to assist one another toward that? I mean, really! If someone isn't happy with me, there's no way I will be happy with them. Common sense!!! Once all attempts have been made, it's kinder to yourself to let the person go and wish him the best while you go in search for the best for yourself. Petty battling over assets is nothing more than a method to hold on to the person and the relationship. Divvy up and get the hell out!
Ah well, I'm still going around in circles with these thoughts and I must return to work. Leave a comment if you wish. I'd love to see your opinions.
Have a wonderful week, everyone!
Photo borrowed from About.com:Political Humor
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment