The drive to the airport drags even as it passes much too quickly. Thoughts which should be shared remain private, moods are subdued. The smiles of Friday gone on Sunday. Where did the time go, you wonder, just as you do at the end of each stolen weekend. It's never long enough. What would constitute long enough to satisfy you...a week, a month, forever? Sometimes it feels as if even forever would never be long enough.
But, you put those thoughts aside, encourage a smile that you in no way feel and brave your way through another goodbye, another parting, another tear shed when safe from view. Heaven forbid you allow true emotion to govern the moment and affect those certain to follow. Unknowns and uncertainties hold your voice in check, forever muting the entreaties, the desires, the promises that would bind. Human fears, human frailties stay your impulse. The moment, once again given opportunity, remains unused.
Boarding a plane yet again; bridging the two worlds you seem destined to occupy. There are times when you tire of the travel, the delays, the layovers, and other times when the excitement builds as if it's your first foray into flying all over again. It's been two years now this month since the first temptation, the first curiosity, was stirred by words; a breath of a promise offered by another. Words were all you had at the time but, in that time and unlike now, they were enough. Cautious curiosity gave way to acceptance, trust and understanding. Words were your battleground, your playground, your refuge. Before them and by them, you spent your days intertwining your lives. Like ivy, you emerged into the unknown expanse driven only by instinct. Your words, your sustenance encouraging tendrils securing you, supporting you, until filling the space where once there was nothing.
As the plane taxies across the tarmac, you think again of that wasted moment and all the promises that you two could guarantee compared to the lack of guarantees offered by life. Though inclined to ignore the thought that this plane might not get you from point A to B, the thought does come unbidden to remind you that that last unused moment could at any time be the last. Why do you insist on blind optimism that the moments are unending, uninterruptable, always at your command?
But, you put those thoughts aside, encourage a smile that you in no way feel and brave your way through another goodbye, another parting, another tear shed when safe from view. Heaven forbid you allow true emotion to govern the moment and affect those certain to follow. Unknowns and uncertainties hold your voice in check, forever muting the entreaties, the desires, the promises that would bind. Human fears, human frailties stay your impulse. The moment, once again given opportunity, remains unused.
Boarding a plane yet again; bridging the two worlds you seem destined to occupy. There are times when you tire of the travel, the delays, the layovers, and other times when the excitement builds as if it's your first foray into flying all over again. It's been two years now this month since the first temptation, the first curiosity, was stirred by words; a breath of a promise offered by another. Words were all you had at the time but, in that time and unlike now, they were enough. Cautious curiosity gave way to acceptance, trust and understanding. Words were your battleground, your playground, your refuge. Before them and by them, you spent your days intertwining your lives. Like ivy, you emerged into the unknown expanse driven only by instinct. Your words, your sustenance encouraging tendrils securing you, supporting you, until filling the space where once there was nothing.
As the plane taxies across the tarmac, you think again of that wasted moment and all the promises that you two could guarantee compared to the lack of guarantees offered by life. Though inclined to ignore the thought that this plane might not get you from point A to B, the thought does come unbidden to remind you that that last unused moment could at any time be the last. Why do you insist on blind optimism that the moments are unending, uninterruptable, always at your command?
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