Changes ahead now averted

There are people who tell me I think too much. They also tell me that I take life too seriously. Despite the time contemplating and sometimes agonizing over decisions, I still am prone to making mistakes and even altering the course of my life. Within business, I make snap decisions easily but, when the decisions involve my personal life and the people I love, I consider them with deliberate calculation with each receiving time necessitated by the degree of seriousness. When pushed in making those decisions, I balk and retreat from the pressure applied by someone else. I have made decisions in the past based on someone else’s timetable simply because an answer was needed and those decisions often were regrettable but I stood by them nevertheless. There are no guarantees on the consequences of decisions made. You can never know if they will be positive or negative until you’ve made them and see the outcome. Unfortunately, I don’t always have awareness of all the variables necessary for the decision readily at hand but, given enough time, they will most often be revealed to me. Because I am as responsible for the consequences of those decisions as I am the decisions themselves and what led up to them, I want to be sure that they’re the best decisions I can make. I want to know that, right or wrong, I can stand behind the decision and accept full responsibility for the consequences. If this is seen as a measure of control, then it’s what it is, but I can only control myself and I’ll leave everyone else’s lives, actions, reactions, feelings, thoughts, etc. to them.

One negative aspect to my way of doing things is that those involved in my life don’t always accept it as it is, attributing something to the process that doesn’t exist such as thoughts or feelings I don’t possess. Thankfully, my children are aware of how I am and they’ve learned that to push for an answer or to try to influence my decision will disrupt and prolong the process, cause unnecessary confusion, and often give them the direct opposite of the desired answer they seek. They accept the way I am although they’ve had to learn patience in awaiting answers which they’d much rather have had quickly.

One positive aspect of it is that I can be comfortable with myself in the end. The results of the decisions made are not always what I’ve have them be but I can willingly stand firm whether applauding or defending myself.

The regrettable decisions are those I allowed myself to be pushed into and I often look back upon them wishing for a different outcome. However, nothing prior to the current moment can be altered; all you can do is to go forward and hope that subsequent decisions will alter the course of things and bring a better outcome in time.