Regret

Thinking of a friend lost to me caused me to think of regret and how often we lead our lives in such a way as to store up much of that commodity. As I often do, I googled the actual definition for the word and that led me to many quotations regarding it as well as a link for Regret Theory, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regret_(decision_theory)#Regret_theory, which I found interesting. (Google rocks!)

Often used in Investment strategies, the Regret Theory is this...A theory that says people anticipate regret if they make a wrong choice, and take this anticipation into consideration when making decisions. Fear of regret can play a large role in dissuading or motivating someone to do something. Well, they're stating the obvious but what got me was the linear equation they came up with. So, is that what I've been doing in my head all this time but it never resembled an Einstein blackboard?

Anyway, we're all familiar with regret. No-one needs a definition for it. With each decision we make, despite how we may agonize and linger over them, we move toward something and away from something else. There's no way to know, until you've made that decision and lived with the consequences, whether you'll have reason to regret it or not.

"Live life without regret." ~ "Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." ~ "If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world."

The Road Not Taken (Robert Frost)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Is it possible to live life without regret? I don't see how it could be considering all the things we'll deal with in life. There's always room for regret whether it's an opportunity missed, a person we've neglected, a word left unsaid... I think more likely the key is to not store up more regrets than we do satisfying moments. Regret denotes failure or unhappiness. Since what we're all searching for is some measure of happiness in this life, it would be best to maintain a fine balance between regret and satisfaction...hopefully, always in favor of satisfaction.

Unfortunately, we're all aware that the past cannot be changed; we can only affect today and the future. We spend a lot of time thinking about regrets...those moments and decisions we wish we could change...but there's value in the reflection. Without regret, we'd not be aware of what we need to avoid in the future, which roads we may need to revisit or travel anew, and which direction to best apply our efforts. The danger comes in recognizing the reasons for regret and never acting upon the realizations gained, in dwelling too long with those regrets that we never move forward at all, or falling prey to fear of new decisions which halts our forward momentum.

I have regrets...many...and they will always remain with me. I don't try to shake them for I recognize their value. My problem is that I create new regrets each day for things left undone, words left unspoken, and opportunities left unexplored. We all have a tendency of doing this just living life day to day, making it into the next day unscathed. The day is long. It is filled with 1440 minutes. 1440 moments of opportunity to make things the way you want them. How many of these moments do we not utilize to the best of our ability to get us closer to the happiness we seek?

I was going to close on that line but it occurred to me that the best way to be proactive in achieving or coming closer to that ultimate happiness would possibly be to make a list of all the things necessary to that happiness. We could think of many things we want but to whittle it down to those things we know we'd forever regret should we neglect them or fail to achieve them would be more realistic. With that list in hand to be referenced each day, we might remember to utilize some of those wasted moments of the day. So, I think my next project will be in compiling a list. Not a "bucket list" necessarily, but a list of what I'm aware of which makes me happy and the things which make my life less than desirable. Not the things I'd like to do for there are many, but the things I must do or have to make life my life. With the list, I will be prompted to further refine ways to achieve these things. Ah well, it's worth the effort.