Thankful

I was talking to a friend tonight and commented on how this year is one I can't wait to end.  Why the hell would I seek to eradicate even one moment of life?  How incredibly stupid, right?  Perhaps I'll return and share some of the past year.  But, just in case tomorrow doesn't come and Karma hangs on my last real conversation ever spoken into the world, I shall attempt to balance the bad with some good.

In spite of the year behind me, I really do have so very much to be thankful for.  I have people who love me and whom I love in return.  I wake each morning which is something that could have already stopped happening, right?  I breathe in and I breathe out.  I see what I'm typing.  My brain can still put together the letters to form thought into word.  My fingers are still agile enough to follow my brain's instructions.  My bladder still  holds its own against the coffee, soda, and occasional glass of wine I force its way.  The leg cramps go away...eventually.  The sun shines and the rain pours and God's green earth is a beautiful place on which to pass the days.  There are lovely people in the world in spite of the ugly ones who seem to want to overpopulate.  Criminal Minds re-runs can fill a Sunday when NOTHING else worth watching comes on...even if I have seen the same ones a million times. I caught most of Big Bang Theory tonight for the first time in FOREVER.  I hear I can access Orphan Black on Netflix and Amazon Prime. For every frown I allow on my face there's a smile waiting in the form of grandchildren.  My children thrive even though it would seem my son would test the limits.  My siblings and mother live still and all within driving distance of me....yes, that's a good thing.  My brother-in-law survived a fall and brain injury.  My friends still love me although I haven't been a very good friend in return for a while.  I sit here now surrounded by shelves of books and cd's of music that I can enjoy over and over again.  NPR still keeps me company while driving.  I didn't kill the rose bushes at the office.  I have enough money in my wallet to classify me as "not broke"...I could use a million or two, Karma.

Sometimes, it's so easy to focus on what isn't working right, what wishes aren't fulfilled, what is missing from the perfect equation rather than appreciating what is right, what is filling the otherwise empty spaces, and what is more important than all that's missing...life, love, and the people you share it all with.

Perspective and attitude....thanks for the past year, its lessons, its honing of my numerous facets, and the million moments that made it survivable and worth living into the next one.  Sleep now.  Wake me in the morning, I pray.